Now We No!

Now We No!


Last month I started a discussion on ‘Health.’ It is called #HealthyistheNewS.E.X.Y. Just hover over the hashtag and read February’s blog for details. I want ‘Health’ to be viewed first before we look at the manifestations of what occurs if we’re not as healthy as we’d like to be. ‘Health’ deserves to have center stage and be sexy-as-she-wanna-be. I well-comed ‘Health’ with open arms, but I wasn’t ready for how it chose to come to me. What I will say is if ‘Health’ is your aim allow it to come as its origin – a person, place, or thing.

I was sent a video to watch and asked what my thoughts were about it. At first I wondered why am I watching this? ‘Health’ presented herself to me in a way that I’ve long since crossed over. I looked at the video again. I told ‘Health’ I’m no longer in that phase of my life. I even attended a live demonstration where another male presenter held the same product that I viewed before, doesn’t directly affect him, but it does affect any female in his life. And again, although amazed even more by this product, I still wondered why me? I noticed I kept squashing an inner voice telling me to pay attention. I answered, “I’ve passed this rite of passage.” It wasn’t until after a teleconference, attending an informational session of this product, another teleconference, and getting a good night’s sleep that I had no choice but to pay attention to the inner voice.

At the age of ten I started my menstrual cycle. It was presented to me in a way that I didn’t care about it. I saw it as an imposition. I was told about it by a mother who didn’t know how to explain it me, and a grandmother whose face looked like death warmed over. Her response was, “I was becoming a woman, it would come monthly, and I could get pregnant.” I had to wear a small version of a guillotine. Back in the day we had to wear an elastic thong that was held together by two metal clamps. This is what an elephant sized sanitary pad was attached to and a belt worn around my waist to hold it in place – not. Uncomfortable to say the least.

I didn’t have cramps as most of my girlfriends had during that time of the month. I went to school, bled profusely using three to four oversize pads a day. Mine was normal compared to other females who had to go home, lay down, and take Motrin by the bottles. I didn’t hate this moment I just didn’t connect with it. I looked at it as a function of the body, no more, no less. Even after I turned thirty when cramps, bloating, and emotions made up for lost time for not visiting me in my teens. They came in with a vengeance from my thirty’s until it ended quietly as it came in, in my late forty’s. I still did not connect with the “flow.”

Fast forward. ‘Health’ wanted me to reconnect to a moment that I barely gave notice to other than I bought pads, used pads, threw pads away, and started the process all over again for the duration of five days. I rejected an integral part of my femininity. A female being on her “flow” is to be celebrated, honored, and protected. From the first conversation, a little girl has with her mother to the end of her flow those three factors should be intimately involved in her life.

The presentation I viewed is called, “Cherish,” a sanitary napkin. But the movement I’m a part of is called “No We No”. No, that’s not a grammatical error. The reputation of this sanitary napkin is fused with protecting a woman’s female part, her honor, while celebrating her ‘flow’. This napkin even from its name, is changing the story for mothers to tell their daughters when they begin their ‘flow’. They feel confident in giving their daughters a product that will protect their femininity from fear. Fear of smell, and uninvited spots on the back of clothes and as you watch the video on the right side of the screen, fear from that too (fill in the blank… lol!)

As you watch the video allow ‘Health,’ to speak to you about your ‘flow.’ You may be surprised at what you hear. #NowWeNo #HealthyistheNewSexy


How Do You ‘Scend?

How Do You ‘Scend?




howtorockI’ve learned a new term in rock climbing called ‘scend. It is “when a climber must not just work with the rock, but must also become absorbed by it.” Reading one of my favorite magazine’s Spirituality & Health the term is coined in an article entitled, “Understanding the Rush to Connect.” The author speaks of how people who are thrill seekers are often misunderstood and unfairly labeled by those who don’t imbibe in extreme sports. They are often spoken of as the aggressive jock who must conquer at all cost. When actually the writer states that most participants are people who “feel empowered, more by humbling emotions than by dominant ones. Instead of feeling larger than life, they feel small and vulnerable… As these athletes work in unity with the natural environment, humanity’s dependence on and responsibility to the earth becomes markedly clear.

I, for one, love extreme sports. But alas, I’m a spectator, not a participant. It’s not that I don’t want to but certain physical challenges limit my ability to do so. Yet, even as a spectator, I feel the rush with the participant. I allow my body to feel the exhilaration, the near misses, and the misplaced step that invites a loss.

wheretorockThis term, though peaked my interest to see if I ‘scend in my own way. Do I become one and connect with activities that I do partake in. Off the bat, I knew writing was a ‘scend for me. When I’m into a story my imagination soars. Creating worlds, people, places and things are my crack addiction. I see these creatures in my mind. I try to be descriptive as I can breathing life into their character. Watching anime, or children’s movies are the simplest wisdom and answers to questions I’ve posed to the Universe. The other night I saw the Disney/Pixar movie Inside/Out. I laughed because at that moment I was battling with how I’ve been seen through the lens of other people. Labels such as “you are too emotional,” or, “your emotions are unstable.” I will agree at times they are but watching this movie allowed me to see how certain emotions, i.e., sadness, is needed in order to unearth the root of what you’re feeling. Any emotion can be “too emotional.” As in the movie the emotion Joy had to learn balance and when it was her turn to just follow. Every emotion has its place, time, and exact moment to realize what is needed for a person to fully connect with self. I have more area’s but for the use of time and you are not pressing the browser button to go to another article I’ll stop here. But I’ve learned three points from ‘scend.

  •   It’s not a one time ascension to conquer a problem.
  •   You may not make it to the top, but each time you attempt to climb again you will have small victories.
  •   Each problem has several peaks within itself that will need to be addressed strategically, methodically, and sometimes painfully slow.

scaredrockThis means there are lessons to be learned that possibly will take longer to reach the goal. It doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. It means that what you’re scaling is monumental and must be defeated brick by brick. No, it’s not fun or easy, but break it down into bite sizes so you can celebrate the small victories along the way. And yes, celebrate! This is forgotten along the way. I know I have because I concentrated on the pain of the climb and was too tired or angry to see how far I had come. I’ll be transparent. I haven’t celebrated my journey as much I should have because it was too daunting. And yes, sometimes it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be. I concentrated on my way versus the Universe’s way of defining the victory. I know, the entities Pride and Control yeah, I tussle with them too… lol! But at least I can admit it. Victory!

Okay, I’ve run over my word limit, but I thought this word important to share with you. Think about how you connect with your activities and people. How do you ‘scend?


Uncreate the Verbal Contracts

Uncreate the Verbal Contracts


Uncreate the Contracts


It’s time to delete the tape! It’s time to evict the people living inside your head, beliefs, emotions, and voice! It’s time to delete the memories in your cells! It’s time to tell those negative words, unseemly behaviors, and low-frequency thoughts to go! It’s time to uncreate the verbal contracts and break through your authentic self and life!

You were consistently verbally abused as a child and agreed to believe those words. I know you were a child and didn’t have the wherewithal to fight the words. You internalized this to mean, “You weren’t good enough.” But now you are at a crossroad in your adult life and choices must be made to uncreate the verbal contracts or stay aligned in agreement with the enemy of your soul. Are you ready?

Every word and statement, write down the person(s) name who said it. In another column write an I AM statement about you. For example, I AM INTELLIGENT, OR I AM CREATIVE. This may take a while so take breaks. You can do this in stages. It can be emotionally intense. Take your time. Write a few words and people for an hour a day and speak aloud the below declaration. Say aloud your new I AM affirmations daily too. Move in that vacant space your new beliefs hearing your own voice.

When you have completed as many as you can say aloud the following declaration with the Restorer of your soul!

 I renounce and denounce every word spoken to me that I’ve believed from a child. I am not these words and statements. I am a child of I AM! And I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am a divine being created in the image of I AM. I choose to speak I AM forth by rewriting my mental, emotional, and physical script with my voice and behavior.

For those who attacked me with their religion and co-signing God’s name to their abuse, I renounce their god of bondage and fear and choose to learn God for myself. I renounce and denounce the language of a slave and I speak the language of freedom! I am worthy. Period.

On this day ______________ I uncreate every verbal contract that I agreed to and by the great I AM I ask that it be destroyed and sent back to the sender. Amen

You will repeat this declaration as needed. You’ve existed in another persons reality for a long time and they don’t want to leave so easily. Those memories are in your cells and must be removed.

The next few techniques are excellent ways of clearing your cells. Take walks, being in nature clears your mind. Another practice is to take your hands and pat them, on the top of your thighs like you’re walking.  One last exercise is to fold your arms and take your hands and pat your arms like you are walking. It seems strange but that motion blocks negative mind chatter.

You are Removing, what no longer serves you and Restoring’ your authentic emotions, thoughts, and voice! This is a journey so take steps and read my friend Neil Vermillion’s blog. He has insight that will assist, affirm and order your steps daily.

In my next blog January 30, 2016, I will discuss “Forgiveness.” I may have a special guest blogger to walk you in forgiveness. This is her field of expertise. Meanwhile, enjoy Ms. Janet Jackson’s “Control.” We know WHO is really in control of our lives but “Self-Control” is a ‘Fruit of the Spirit’.  Until thenknow that you are not alone, sweet sleep, and angels keep. 

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-

To purchase my memoir just click the picture above! THANK YOU. And one last thing, would love to read your comments if my blogs are helping you and if it is “DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE & SHARE!” 

Break Through in 2016!

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Now Playing-Breakthrough 2016!-

Its 2016 Phamily! Im grateful and excited! This is the year of Breakthroughs, Miracles and much more!

Lets define breakthrough. The English thesaurus says, Advance, innovation, invention, revolution, discovery, development, step forward, leap forward, and new idea. YOUR breakthroughs will be big, small, and unusual. Just pay attention.

Add heading (2)Dont betray yourself. Examine patterns of sabotage. How many times have you arrived at a breakthrough and then BAM! Your moment is shut down. Undermining entities such as disappointments and low self-confidence lull your soul asleep to not notice patterns. Lets analyze the effects of undermining entities. What were your emotions and inner talk?  The people that you once assisted did they reciprocate? Were you operating in confidence or apologetically? Were you subconsciously looking at past failures and comparing them to the present moment? Do you see what Im getting at?

WAKE UP CALL. The good thing is patterns never change their modus operandi. Each time your moment was usurped, you had your pity party, got back up and tried again. Resiliency. It strengthened areas that demand a time out to recognize, dissect, and assess, specific behavior, thoughts, and actions. This needful process awakens awareness and challenges you to view your decisions from an aerial vantage point. But more importantly, it forces you to be a vigilant watchdog of your emotions, thoughts, behavior, and who is steering them. In my next blog on 1/9/16, Ill discuss what and how to Uncreate Contracts, a construct of sabotage.

This is our year of breakthroughs, miracles, new doors, opportunities of Gods promises. Lets do this!

On my Facebook page, Author Lana M Hooks, I am posting twice weekly a breakthrough that will happen. Join me and write your breakthrough in the post comment section. Our breakthroughs are real and they will come to pass.

I’m so glad to present to many and introduce to other’s Neil Vermillion. If you haven’t read any of his blogs by all means do so! I guarantee you he can assist you with words of wisdom and insight to reach your breakthroughs! Please check out Neil Vermillion at Daily Prophetic Word. Thank you, Neil, for adopting me into your family! 

Breakthroughs & Miracles; Create Your Experience, Manifest Your Promise!

Please SUBSCRIBE & SHARE on my blog, and

LIKE my Author Lana M Hooks Facebook page, also

FOLLOW me, lmhooks on Twitter, and lastly,

FOLLOW me, lmhooks51, on Instagram.

Thank you!

And as always you are not alone! Sweet sleep and angels keep!

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-


Images – Getty Images

Book Cover – Ariana Rivera, “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection”; Kelle Hines: Studio 414 Portraits, Inc., “How I Loved Myself”

Graphics – Lana M Hooks/Canva

Quote – Humatora, Anime

A Blessed Holyday and New Season in 2016

snow1I miss the snow!!! Living in the south snow is the one part of nature that reminds me of happier times, serenity, and fresh starts! So this picture is my reminder of FRESH STARTS! What’s yours? (Just a little homework for the holydays…lol)

I would like to take this time and thank all of the people who supported me this year by reading my blog and sharing it with others. And thank you to Alicia Cunningham and Nicole Cunningham for being my guest bloggers! Love their coloring books for adults. Great gift for the child in you that loves to color! I’ll be looking for more guest bloggers in 2016!

Keep reading, sharing and subscribing!

It’s no small feat that in between your day to day life task and challenges that you took your time and read what was on my heart. I hope that in some way it gave you peace, shown light along your journey, or was an answer to a question.

In January, specifically, January 2nd I will return with NEW BLOG TOPICS and FREEBIES for you. Also, I’ve written a workbook about building new emotional foundations and strategies and how to execute them. Can’t wait to get it in your hands!

As you are carving a ham, turkey, duck, or lamb do the same for yourself. Time is precious so don’t let it all be for others and none for yourself.

  • Reflect on this year and spend time with the Divine to see what next is in store for you.

  • Review what beliefs you laid to the side and those you are now walking out into your being.

  • Reject any thoughts that try to invade your space to want to pull you from your space of contentment, peace, love, joy, forgiveness, etc.

  • Renew your mind, body, and physical space.

1. Meditate beforehand when you know you will be around family, friends, and co-workers. If you decide, for your well-being, that you don’t want to, it’s perfectly okay. Be at peace with your decision.
2. Don’t forget to take a walk, yoga, aerobics, weight training, whatever your thing is, just move your body. If you are in a geographic location where the weather is nice then get out and enjoy nature. If not, open your curtains, look a the snow while YouTube has your favorite exercise video on and go for it! Lol! Just don’t forget to take care of your temple!
3. Lastly, switch furniture around or buy that item you’ve been spying in the store since forever. I know I am! You know, that little something that reminds you that this year you did some inner work and you see the changes. You are not undervaluing your worth anymore! You see the validity in your thoughts, opinions, and words. So purchase that candle, dress, shoes, makeup, journal, pen, tablet, whatever your item is purchase it – on SALE of course and preferably after Christmas…lol!

Well Phamily I wish you and those who love you a


Enjoy one of my favorite songs “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway

One more thing if you are looking for a gift consider purchasing my book “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection.” If you don’t want repeats of behaviors, actions or words then this is the book for you. Recognize and lay aside patterns so when you look in the mirror you recognize the person looking back. lana_web_book_cover

And as always you are not alone! Sweet sleep and angels keep!


Lana M. Hooks

Gratitude – Kanye’s “College Dropout”

college dropoutPreparing to sit down and work on a story I felt led to listen to Kanye’s, “The College Dropout.” I listened to it one time when it first dropped in 2004. I was in a different head space at that time and truthfully I didn’t care for it. Eleven years and nine months later, sitting in front of my laptop on Spotify, the explicit version, I listened and heard Kanye West. Fresh, raw, urban, angry, mad, didn’t give a f…k yet thankful, grateful, and excited for the experience that he had gone through in creating and producing his first story on CD. It was his – story, his – path, his – awareness, of all that went into creating him, making him, being him. Every song was his autobiography from sacred to cultural to secular that created his huemanness, his – story.

The path routed for him began with a mother who educated her son on the socioculturalpoliticalreligious history of being Black in America and the Diaspora. His family indoctrinated him to their norms, verbal vernacular, behavioral and oral traditions at gatherings, religious beliefs, and family beliefs. The streets taught him the raw life, people living from day to day, having to do what they do to survive. But yet at the end of the CD he recounts every step, every setback, victory, stall, risk, delay, betrayal, with a laugh, or a f…k you, I’m gone make it anyway attitude. He invites people who saw his struggle, were a part of his struggle, who believed in him to share in his victory. I heard his GRATEFULNESS! He was acutely AWARE of the highs, the lows and the in-betweens of his journey.

femalelisteningtomusicI listened and heard him over and over again for about six hours. Getting acquainted with artist that I now listen to, specifically a spoken word artist from Chicago, J. Ivy, believe me, I’ve matured since 2004. Now you’re probably asking what does this have to do with #emotionalabuse, #verbalabuse, #domesticviolence #academicbullying #rejection, #religiousbullying, and #abandonment. My answer is Kanye’s arrival at his CD being revealed was not without its share of hardships. No, I’m not comparing his journey to domestic violence but what I am saying is he never gave up.

It’s hard when you have a dream and choices made from an ill formed foundation delay those dreams. Whether those choices involve others who’ve you collaborated with that either betrayed you, delayed you or didn’t believe in you, they all taught you something. You just have to take the time, sit down somewhere quietly and hear what the lesson was and watch the AHA moment lightbulb come on! I know you may regret some things but don’t stay there in that land its death valley. Allow the entities Awareness and Gratefulness to lead you to higher ground.

I know it hasn’t been easy but as Kanye was retelling his – story you could hear the low points that were infused with laughter. I’m sure hind sight is 20-20 but he laughed, or chuckled. His high points he was ecstatic, joyous and sometimes you heard the ambiguity in his voice. The emotional rollercoaster of his tale was infused with every emotion imaginable just like yours and mine, but his victory was the CD. Finally, after four years his sweet spot, his intangible dream made tangible. Isn’t that what we all want our intangible dreams made tangible? I know I do. I’m not making light of anyone’s journey. I don’t compare oranges to apples. Everyone’s journey is relevant to that person. And soul wounds no matter how deep still hurt. But I’m going to ask that you join me this season, and not just regulate it to a season, but daily give thanks, and be intentional to be grateful!


I call GRATEFULNESS an entity! Words carry energy by reason of their definition. Fall into the arms of AWARENESS to recognize and discern or be sensitive to the situations in your life.

Gratefulness means:

 “Warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:

I am grateful to you for your help.

2. Expressing or actuated by gratitude:

A grateful letter.

3. Pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:

A grateful breeze.” (


1. Read GRATEFULNESS’ definition over and over again. Allow the energy of every word to infuse itself into your psyche, brain waves, cells, and skin.

2. Read the definition again and put feeling into it. It’s going to sound phony but be intentional about “gratefulness.” This energy wants to be a part of you.

3. One more time, let’s read it again with EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT!

4. Do you feel the words?

5. Now, grab your pen, pencil, crayon, chalk, felt pen, smartphone, tablet, laptop, paper, or chalk board, whatever and sit somewhere quietly.

6. Take a situation from your life and ask your Divine, the Universe, and your God for an aerial view to see it from a higher perspective. Stay quiet and hear the answer.

7. How did this situation contribute to your present moment? What lesson did you learn? How has that moment changed you?

8. Evaluate your character, your belief system, your personal philosophy of life. View the impact, allow the emotions to pass through this one last time, now let them go and send them back to the abyss.

9. Last instruction. Write down what you are grateful for and keep that list for future reference. I’m sure you’ll have to repeat this exercise again.

thank you2



Happy Thanksgiving Phamily!




What Are You Accommodating?

familypixHi Phamily! I truly hope all is well in you and with you! Today I’m going to jump right in and ask you a question.


You are probably asking, “What is she talking about? Accommodating what?”

Well, last week I was looking at one of the most inspiring Life Coaches on the planet Iyanla Vanzant’s, “Fix My Life,” television show. She told a client that she was accommodating her dis-ease in which the manifestation was “obesity.” To give you a brief synopsis of the situation the client’s mother died several years ago and as a result parts of her laid down in the coffin with her too. Before that traumatic moment she was the life of the party. Inviting people over for barbecues or celebrations of b’earthday’s was her way of participating with her friend’s in life. She and her mom were extremely close. They were like sisters and the best of friends. You didn’t see one without the other at any time according to friends and family. The absence of her mother created a void in her life that no one or anything could replace. Keep reading what that void created.

emotional eating

One, physically, the manifestation as I mentioned before was “obesity.” She gained a mass of weight [600 lbs.] (EMOTIONAL EATING). Two, she slipped and fell going to the bathroom in her home. The fire department had to come, lift her up, and put her back in the bed. She was so embarrassed that she consciously decided to not leave the house (SHAME, GUILT, HURT, PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, ANGER, RAGE, EMBARRASSMENT). This resulted in a breach of not only being with friends but “making” her teenage child become her caretaker. She washed her mom, cleaned her mother’s personal needs in the bed (she couldn’t get up anymore to go to the bathroom), and brought her foods that were not healthy. Watching her mother’s decline physically, mentally, and emotionally seized this young lady’s teenage years, reversed the view of the roles in their relationship,  and abandonment of a mother in her life (ABANDONMENT OF SELF CARE, CHILD, & SELFISH). To accommodate her lifestyle all of her medications, toiletries, sterilized bed pads were placed within arm’s reach. Basically anything that she needed to accommodate her conscious based lifestyle was placed in the boundary of her arm span.

The word “accommodate” reverbrated over and over inside my stomach. I felt the ping or the energy of that word move in me and didn’t stop until it reached cellular level. I asked myself several questions:


  1. What familiar generational, cultural, or unserving religious belief system was I accommodating inside my temple, my soul, my mind?
  2. What emotional habit was I consciously or subconsciously making that was keeping me in an emotional, physical, mental, or economic rut?

Let’s go deeper shall we.

I even had to look at the time of the year I was making a major change in my life.

  1. Is it the same time of year every year and why the same time?
  2. What is significant about that time of the year?
  3. If I make this same goal at the same time of the year why am I sabotaging this goal?
  4. What am I afraid of? Why do I believe I’m not worthy of fulfilling my goal?
  5. What is on the other side of completing my goal that I think I can’t handle?

These are the questions that we all have to answer before we conquer our goals. This is a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” specifically Recognize and once truthfully answered Restore will greet you with the emotions, behaviors, ways, and means designed for you to utilize to complete your goals. Spiritually you will be given the innate strength, mental fortitude, and the entity Desire will fill your very soul (mind, emotions, body) to want to complete your goals.


You are not alone family. You have a legion of angels surrounding you to enforce and reinforce your new beliefs. It takes repetition for a belief to become a system and these angels are here to assist you. These angels are visible and invisible. Surround yourself with people that only have your good in mind. They Desire with you to see your goals accomplished. These people will have a “NO” in their mouths when it is needed but it will always be accompanied in the heart of LOVE! You will hear instructions and encouragement spoken to you first by your Creator and then reaffirmed by your earthly angels. By this I mean when I hear through the means of what my soul gravitates to (a book, movie, marquee sign, etc.) a friend in casual conversation will say something to reinforce or offer more of an explanation of what I’ve heard. Your Creator wants you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He hears your concerns, you matter, and you are on the right track.

This is my belief and you don’t have to believe in what I’m about to say but I believe in the unseen help and we do entertain angels unaware. I’ve had people to help me and I’ve never seen again. I believe in a force that is unearthly strong and they are working on your behalf when your strength wanes. I believe that any horrendous situation you’ve encountered could have been worse than that just because those angels held back what really wanted to kill you emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically. If you believe this then you have to ask yourself, “Who am I really to the Creator and what am I to do in the Earth that Evil wants to take me out?”

This question as you progress on your journey will be answered along the way. You will see yourself differently as the twin entities Recognize and Restore usher you into your new creation of authenticity as the sleeping giant in you is awakened and revealed.

Keep seeking, believing, and taking the necessary risk to reveal more of your emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, and economical authentic self.




I’ve posted the 2nd part of the “Remember My Story,” video! Hear how she accommodated the ‘Rejection,’ and ‘Abandonment,’ of her parental mother and little brother. And again, get out the tissue but really listen with the entity ‘Pay Attention’ to see the patterns of her emotions and behavior when trigger words or uncontrolled situations pushed her buttons. See if you can relate to her story. I know I did. 

Until next time know that you are not alone, sweet sleep, angels keep!



You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”lana_web_book_cover


Your Story – Stumbling Block to Building Block

heartyfruitHey Phamily! I truly hope all is well in your world and your journey has been productive. Since we’ve last talked I’ve been receiving some wonderful comments from people who have enjoyed reading my thoughts and journey and I just want to take the time to say THANK YOU!!! I really don’t take for granted when you leave a comment and say words of encouragement and kindness to let me know that my journey and what I’ve learned and still learning is helping you! That is a blessing to my soul. Again, THANK YOU!  Keep commenting and I’ll keep responding.

Well, these last couple of weeks so much has been happening in my world that I want to share just a bit with you. And by the way this is a part of RECOGNIZE AND REMOVE, the number’s two and three of The Four R’s on Your Journey. Yes, we are still here because these twins work together to align whatever part of your  life that is being recognized, removed and in the process of being healed to restore you authentically in those areas! I must admit I’ve been having a heaven/hell (just depends on what the issue is) of a time in revisiting areas of my life that I thought were complete, finished, dismissed, GONE! But…there is always a but. I found out that there is some residue that needed to be cauterized. YES, cauterized. Remember, I shared with you in my blog “Words Followed By Signs” that I didn’t like confrontation, and I had to confront the motherlode of all bully’s head on. Well, since then I’ve been confronting other people as well, not as intense as the first one, but nevertheless, it is becoming easier to do so. The fretful words are coming out of my mouth but with the motive and intent of my heart to heal both parties involved. A double edged sword (words) is used to cut both ways. One side is to destroy that which wants to kill you (not the person just their negative energy) and the other side is to heal that inside you that no longer serves you. In essence, I voice my concerns to the person and inwardly (in my soul) fear, rejection is being replaced with courage, power, love, and a sound mind. I no longer want a “soul” connection with the other person’s pain. I want my wound to be cauterized so their wound will no longer connect with what was once in me as well. Let your wounds be cauterized. It’s been amazing to see this process but I must admit it can be agonizing at times.


meditatingWhat helps is prayer, meditation, and mantras. I speak in the affirmative. I say, “I choose not to catch anyone’s negative  energy this day,” or, “I am worthy!” To say these mantra’s and scriptures in the ‘Now’, tells your subconscious mind that what you are saying is active at that very moment. You are creating your experience in the present moment. Place your scriptures or mantras where you will see them daily. I see mine every morning  on my vision wall in front of my bed when I wake up. Your scriptures and mantras will build a fortress around your  mind, body, and emotions. The more you say them you are reinforcing them, empowering them, to protect you from other people who may not be aware they are carrying negative energy. But you are protecting yourself with an armor that helps you to stand against verbal blows and possibly removing you from physical harm. Words have energy by their definition and carry the intent or motive of the human thereby releasing them through their breath. Speak your positive words to keep you strengthened, your vibration high, and fortified in your soul. Self-love is priceless phamily.


My prayers are sometimes two words. THANK YOU! Prayer is a conversation with your Divine and Infinite Intelligence. Actually I find myself praying arbitrarily throughout my day. It’s just a conversation in either me expressing gratitude, worship, asking for protection, or help with something that concerns me or someone else. Some people do have set times and that is fine, others do it throughout their day, or, a mixture of both. It’s whatever you gravitate to. Don’t make it rigid. Be flexible and loving in prayer with your Divine.

buildingblocksI say all of this to really make one point. Your story can either be your stumbling block or building block. When a child plays with blocks they either stack them up or beside each other. They will fall and the child may cry but will eventually pick them back up to start building again. Our stories are similar to those blocks. Think about how your life has gone from one block to the next and just when you think you’ve completed an area in your life and it’s dealt with, the blocks fall. At that moment you want to chuck it and just give up but something, and I like to think, the entity Hope comes in and gently nudges you and says, “No, build again but do it differently this time.” You see some blocks you may not need anymore to complete an area of your life. You had to many blocks the first time but this time you may only need just a few. Don’t allow a few times in an area of your life that the blocks have fallen stop you from trying again. You really are so close to a wound being healed fully, yes, cauterized and your authenticity restored.  Seriously, you are very close…I believe with you!


And now I invite you to watch a story titled, ReMoved! Get the tissue out but please sit with the entity Pay Attention to her story. Look and listen to the building blocks of her life. Until next time you’re in my thoughts and prayers!

ASSIGNMENT: Fortify your soul with positive scriptures, mantras, and prayers. The more you say them watch when someone says something negative how it bounces off of you. The entity PAY ATTENTION will alert you to how you don’t feel as if someone has kicked you in the stomach. Let me know if this helps you!

Travel safely, sweet sleep, angels keep, and know that you are not alone!





You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”


How Do We Stop…

familylineage2Hey Phamily! I truly hope all is well with you and your journey in restoring your authentic self. It’s not just a destination but it’s the journey that reveals those parts of your emotional, mental, social, vocal, physical, and spiritual self that have been scattered to the nether parts of your soul. And believe me it is possible to be restored your authenticity in the aforementioned areas. Don’t worry about the time or the how because if you passionately, strongly and any other adjective that you use Desire to be Restored it will happen. I didn’t think it was possible because of my age but that excuse had to be thrown out asap. Why? Because your Desire, magnified to the nth degree, will far outweigh the number of your years on earth and the Divine will restore those lost years with what you missed plus more as a gift to you.

I see you giving me the side-eye…lol!  side eye

That’s okay. I gave the side-eye to the person that told me this too, especially when they were younger than me. But it’s true, I promise you it is. Your childhood adversity can be laid to rest. You just have to Desire it strongly enough and Believe that the Divine can do it. What helps is that you change your Perception of your life’s course. This will in turn change your Trajectory of your path to Restoration. And by the way this is still a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” Recognize. How have you viewed your life’s course up until this point? I know I viewed mine from the entity of Rejection’s perception. From my career choices, to friendships, to financial decisions, and social gatherings, I walked in knowing that I wouldn’t qualify for the higher paying positions, or, I feared in managing my monies. In friendships I knew they would eventually go sour and I would be the dysfunctional cause, and no man that I really liked would like me back. I think you get the picture. Rejection was my perception and my trajectory lined up with what I believed due to how it had been from a little girl. The pattern, I thought, was set and my life spelled out but something happened.

I began to meet people, read books, listen to songs, hear life coaches (remember these are the ways in which my soul authentically gravitates toward) speak another language on positive self-esteem, critical self-talk, anger, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, etc., and you know what I listened. The more they talked the more I listened and desired to be restored. Being healed far outweighed my pain and I wanted to do whatever it took to think with my thoughts, feel with my feelings, and speak unashamedly without seeing a hand hit me in my mouth in my mind’s eye.

prayingwoman1I prayed to God everyday and moment to help me be healed and more importantly open my eyes to see how He wanted me to assist. You know what I kept hearing? Believe. At first it pissed me off because I was like, is that all? It’s got to be more than that. But each time I asked the question my answer was the same. So, I asked Him to help me. I asked Him to open my eyes to see what He saw in me when He created me. I asked Him to make me Aware of my feelings, voice, and thoughts. I wanted to know me inside out. I asked for the entity of Paying Attention so I would know and could write down my thoughts, and know what my feelings felt like and I could hear how my voice really sounded in my ears. I was subconsciously waking up daily and quickly I might add to see this person that I thought I lost at the age of ten. And quite frankly I’m still getting to know me. It comes in stages. There were parts of me that were deeply imbedded in my soul that I didn’t want God to touch. The pain was to great and I wanted to hang on to my anger. I felt that I was justified in my anger and why not? They did it to me. You know who your they are. But it got to a point where I Recognized and was Aware that carrying those they’s were emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically weighing me down and affecting my health. My back hurt more than ever and I was being Tormented by past scenes, situations, and words almost minutely. I cried out to God to remove them from me. I believed He could remove them but I did have a part to play, and phamily, this is not easy but it is necessary. forgive3

Forgiveness as I’d learned was not the definition I grew into. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened to you but it does mean that the anger, rage, murder, blame, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, hate, of your abusers is seen from only, and I do mean only a Divine’s perspective and the intensity of your emotions in that traumatic moment is gone. Now, if there is another way then by all means let me know, but this the way I learned to forgive. The Divine, utilizing what I normally gravitated to books (fiction and non-fiction), positive speakers, dreams, visions, the supernatural if you will, showed me why my abusers behaved the way they did. He did not justify their actions toward me but He explained their behavior to me.

He explained it to me in several ways. The first way was He showed me in conversations I had with someone close to them who knew them as a child. They were eye witnesses to the ill actions that were heaped upon them by a parent or someone they knew in authority. Ten times out of ten your abuser was abused. But I must admit I asked the Divine, “If they were treated the same way then why treat me the exact same way?” The next way was the clincher. I was shown how I exhibited the same behavior only in a different mode. Let me explain. Pride. Yeah, let me talk about the big dogg I’ve had to wrestle with. You would think after all I’d been through that the entity Pride would be the last challenge I’d have but it was the first one and a big one. I was prideful in sneaky ways like if someone didn’t know something and I did I inwardly viewed them as dumb, or I know more than them. I’m going to shame the devil today by being transparent. My God knows all about it because I stand before Him naked and unashamed so…I will leave that there…lol!  Also, I thought that I knew the best way to manage your life when my life was in shambles…but I could tell you what YOU needed to do. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is…LOL! Yes, phamily the entity Pride is a monster and I rush to my God telling Him when it rears its head. So when I saw me as my abuser’s it was an humbling experience and forgiveness was my key to exit and leave that place of Righteous Anger of what they did to me. I too was an abuser and a Religious Bully at that. My memoir explains more about my religious upbringing. Now I don’t know if my abuser’s wanted to know why they behaved in such a manner or even realized that their behavior was abusive but I do know that God is an equal opportunity employer. I can’t answer for them but…

I forgave. Soul freed. Intense emotions from that abusive moment are gone. Forgiveness attained. Done. forgive4

When you see yourself as the abuser it puts a different spin on Forgiveness. Now I can talk about horrid past scenes without my emotions being involved. Or, as the young adults say, “I’m not caught up in my feelings.” I can see the situation from a Perception that is whole and healed and my Trajectory is changed because I’m Aware of my words, thoughts, and feelings and also how Pride can enter. Also, I do pray as led for those who abused me. Knowing what I know about them it is easier for me to assess their emotional terrain when a certain behavior comes on the scene. I do know how to protect myself as well. Just because I forgave them doesn’t mean I put myself in harm’s way. Wisdom phamily, Wisdom. 😉 And you do know that what you wrestle with will come back and try you again. It wants to see if the door is really closed and Forgivess is on guard.

Well, I have a TedTalks I want you to listen to. It’s located on the right side of your screen where normally I’d put a music video. But today I invite you to listen to Benjamin Perks and his talk on “How Do We Stop Childhood Adversity from Becoming a Life Sentence,” TEDxPodgorica. It is worth fifteen minutes to really listen to and view his film.

I promise you Forgiveness is just waiting on you to acknowledge how heavy your soul is carrying all those people, their words, behaviors, and abusive acts toward you around. Your mind, body, and emotions will thank you. Oh, one last thing. Co-workers, peers, and family are noticing how much weight I’ve lost. And I tell them, “Thank you. I’m getting those other people off and outta me.”

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.




You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?” 



Words Followed By Signs

kidfunbeachLast time phamily we identified our Playground, our safe place, and played a game of ‘Tag’. We talked about ‘The Four R’s on Your Journey.’

  • First you had to ‘Remember’ your playground, your safe place. Whether the equipment on your playground was the swings, slide, jungle gym, or a place in your present, what’s important is you established your safe ground. Then you were also asked to remember the traumatic situation(s) that has followed you from your childhood into adulthood. I’m sure those were tough memories to remember and write down. But it’s something about writing down horrid experiences. You tend to remember more than what you thought you did and that’s a good thing.
  • Did you remember the small details?  Did you have dreams or visions that possibly filled in the gaps of those traumatic moments? I hope you wrote them down. They bring gifts of healing, forgiveness, and letting go of entities that have harassed you long enough.


CASE IN POINT: In my memoir I went to our church camp with a group of peers that I didn’t necessarily want to be around, especially one. I called her ‘Birdfinger’ (explanation in the memoir). To make a long story short, it was a rule at the camp that you had to sweep around your bed and make it up before you left the dormitory. I did. I went downstairs to wait on some young girls I met weeks before at camp. Birdfinger was told by my relative, our supervisor, to come back upstairs. My neat bedclothes were now thrown aside and debris was under my bed. In a two story dormitory military lined with two hundred beds my relative screamed at me like I was the trash underneath my bed. Trying to defend myself was nil because she never believed me anyway. I just redid my bed and swept once again.  All I remembered before I started writing my memoir was how no one took up for me or protected me. When I started this chapter I sat back and through raging emotions and tears I yelled at God and asked why didn’t He send someone to protect me? That’s when He gave me a vision of a lady with an afro sitting by a window watching the entire scene. She had tears in her eyes. I cried the more I saw her looking at me with eyes of compassion and love. I realized that the lady was God. The hurt, pain, rage, anger, and blame left my body. I felt those entities lift right up off me. Now grant it I did ask why didn’t He intervene and He told me He couldn’t because it was a part of the plan for my life. And no, I didn’t like His answer but to have those entities off of me was pure heaven. This is what I mean by small details you can miss when you’re being traumatized at any age. God reveals them to heal you at the appropriate time.




Familiar & Practical

  • Did you find out what your soul normally gravitates to? Remember mine is the written or spoken word. I love YA, like author Jaime Reed’s “Living Violet,” or the Paranormal genre, the late great author L.A. Banks The Vampire Huntress Legend Series. As of late I’ve come to know personally and love author, Alicia McCalla. Her Dystopian/YA novel, “Breaking Free,” is a fav read due to her covert inclusion of historical events in this genetic revolution. Check her out at her site and SUBSCRIBE!  You won’t be disappointed.

The other half of your assignment was what abilities have you discovered that you like? It can also be a trait. Are you adventurous? Do you want to travel and see the world? Are you a gardener? COMMENT BELOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!

In what creative ways did you found out what your soul naturally gravitates too? Were you reading a book? On the train, in your car, walking? Listening to a conversation, watching television, or maybe dreaming? I really like would like to know because that’s the FUN of this adventure! Finding hidden parts of your self is a beacon of hope!

Okay, let’s get back to the second ‘R’ on your journey:


  • From those traumatic events did you recognize patterns of behaviors from your childhood that you’ve used to survive in your adulthood? Some may be excellent survival strategies but others need to be either modified or deleted.
  •  Can you identify how trauma has affected your choices in several areas of your life? The emotional abuse that you endured has kept you in a holding pattern, shock if you will, in not understanding what your normal is when u comes to making decisions. It’s not in all situations in your life but in some cases you make decisions based on survival instincts of your childhood instead of analyzation and reason in the present. You may be afraid to make a decision based on a past traumatic act that possibly insulted your abilities, demeaned your character, or slaughtered your self-worth.

I know you’ve covered a lot of traumatic emotional territory of your past and I’m sure some of it was not easy to view but it was necessary. I truly commend you for your courage my phriend. It’s not easy to revisit unpleasant places but you are and that is a heart of resiliency and courage. You are feeling the fear and doing it anyway. But let’s take a moment and sit down here and discuss the tag team of ‘Recognize’ while I introduce its twin, the third stage ‘Remove.’


The third stage ‘Remove’ is when you “Discover how to remove certain behaviors and words that no longer serve you in the present moment.”  These two can work together and are interchangeable depending on what traumatic memory is prevalent at the time. Some behaviors and words are easier to remove than others. And those behaviors and words are deeply imbedded in your soul, your psyche, still protecting the little girl that was emotionally damaged. They are the chasm that separates the little girl and the adult. But as an adult you are discovering that a certain behavior and/or word due to possibly fear, rejection, or rebellion has outlived its usefulness. Now it’s time to face the fear and learn a new behavior even when you may not know what to do but do it anyway.

CASE IN POINT: I’ve mentioned before I’ve never liked confrontation. It’s a bitter pill for me to swallow due to being either vehemently screamed at or smacked in the mouth. I learned to fear opening my mouth and speaking my authentic thoughts because of these repercussions. So I held everything in and only spoke what I really wanted to say in my mind. I cursed and killed my abuser a thousand times over and meant every. last. word. Yes, I did repent and eventually forgive my abusers. Lol!

Long story short in the past two weeks I’ve had to confront the two types of people I feared the most, an aggressive female bully and an alpha male. I’ve longed to overcome these fears that began in childhood and continued into my adult years. Well, it happened, and yes, I was scared but I held my ground and opened my mouth and said what I had to say without backing down. And you know what I didn’t get smacked in the mouth or verbally abused. Yes, they spoke their mind as well but we did it in an adult manner and afterwards we had a better understanding of each other. It doesn’t mean we’re bosom buddies but that’s not the point. When I say I felt lighter, happier, and the entity Torment did not have any foothold in my soul to hang on to. Wow!

I had already ‘Recognized’ that it was high time to overcome this childhood fear but each time I was given a chance to I shirked and failed the test. But this time ‘Removal’ wouldn’t allow me to back down and I didn’t want to either. There will come a time that you can’t back down. You will, and must confront whatever has held you in static shock. As a result of these moments physically my body has rested the entire night and my outlook on people has changed. I have returned to the stronghold of hope and my relationship with my Creator and self is more intimate than ever.












Until next time keep allowing the stages of ‘Recognize’ and ‘Remove’ do their jobs. It will be a ‘Tag’ team process and even if you don’t respond by facing your childhood fear don’t worry it will come back at a different time, same type of personality, just a different person. The quicker you face it the quicker you will find your adult truth in the situation followed by signs in your body as it is being healed.


    To your right SIGN-UP as a SUBSCRIBER! I have a FREE GIFT awaiting you below!!! Also there will be other FREEBIES coming REAL SOON as well!



You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!



Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!


Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.


Lana M Hooks


-You are worthy to be loved!-