Now We No!

Now We No!

 

Last month I started a discussion on ‘Health.’ It is called #HealthyistheNewS.E.X.Y. Just hover over the hashtag and read February’s blog for details. I want ‘Health’ to be viewed first before we look at the manifestations of what occurs if we’re not as healthy as we’d like to be. ‘Health’ deserves to have center stage and be sexy-as-she-wanna-be. I well-comed ‘Health’ with open arms, but I wasn’t ready for how it chose to come to me. What I will say is if ‘Health’ is your aim allow it to come as its origin – a person, place, or thing.

I was sent a video to watch and asked what my thoughts were about it. At first I wondered why am I watching this? ‘Health’ presented herself to me in a way that I’ve long since crossed over. I looked at the video again. I told ‘Health’ I’m no longer in that phase of my life. I even attended a live demonstration where another male presenter held the same product that I viewed before, doesn’t directly affect him, but it does affect any female in his life. And again, although amazed even more by this product, I still wondered why me? I noticed I kept squashing an inner voice telling me to pay attention. I answered, “I’ve passed this rite of passage.” It wasn’t until after a teleconference, attending an informational session of this product, another teleconference, and getting a good night’s sleep that I had no choice but to pay attention to the inner voice.

At the age of ten I started my menstrual cycle. It was presented to me in a way that I didn’t care about it. I saw it as an imposition. I was told about it by a mother who didn’t know how to explain it me, and a grandmother whose face looked like death warmed over. Her response was, “I was becoming a woman, it would come monthly, and I could get pregnant.” I had to wear a small version of a guillotine. Back in the day we had to wear an elastic thong that was held together by two metal clamps. This is what an elephant sized sanitary pad was attached to and a belt worn around my waist to hold it in place – not. Uncomfortable to say the least.

I didn’t have cramps as most of my girlfriends had during that time of the month. I went to school, bled profusely using three to four oversize pads a day. Mine was normal compared to other females who had to go home, lay down, and take Motrin by the bottles. I didn’t hate this moment I just didn’t connect with it. I looked at it as a function of the body, no more, no less. Even after I turned thirty when cramps, bloating, and emotions made up for lost time for not visiting me in my teens. They came in with a vengeance from my thirty’s until it ended quietly as it came in, in my late forty’s. I still did not connect with the “flow.”

Fast forward. ‘Health’ wanted me to reconnect to a moment that I barely gave notice to other than I bought pads, used pads, threw pads away, and started the process all over again for the duration of five days. I rejected an integral part of my femininity. A female being on her “flow” is to be celebrated, honored, and protected. From the first conversation, a little girl has with her mother to the end of her flow those three factors should be intimately involved in her life.

The presentation I viewed is called, “Cherish,” a sanitary napkin. But the movement I’m a part of is called “No We No”. No, that’s not a grammatical error. The reputation of this sanitary napkin is fused with protecting a woman’s female part, her honor, while celebrating her ‘flow’. This napkin even from its name, is changing the story for mothers to tell their daughters when they begin their ‘flow’. They feel confident in giving their daughters a product that will protect their femininity from fear. Fear of smell, and uninvited spots on the back of clothes and as you watch the video on the right side of the screen, fear from that too (fill in the blank… lol!)

As you watch the video allow ‘Health,’ to speak to you about your ‘flow.’ You may be surprised at what you hear. #NowWeNo #HealthyistheNewSexy

 

Mini or Me?

Mini or Me?

MiniorMe-

I’m sure you’ve seen the Austin Power movies with Dr. Evil and his sidekick Mini-Me who mimics him. Watching a marathon of these movies, I can’t remember which one, Dr. Evil’s biological son returns home and Mini-Me gets jealous. In his mind, he’s been the faithful son for a long time and now he’s being replaced. He desperately tries to regain his position with Dr. Evil but he rejects Mini-Me’s attempts at mimicking him. What once made Dr. Evil so happy is now a turn off to him since his biological son has returned.

fatherdaughterskyI thought of how children try their hardest to impress their parents especially first born children. Parenting does not come with a rule book, or a set of instructions to teach you how to raise a child. So what do most parents do? They raise their child like how they were raised. Teaching them the same way as they were taught but not giving a thought at times that not everything they learned was necessarily all good. Parents pass down character traits, beliefs, mannerisms, opinions, ideologies, likes, dislikes, and even colloquial terms that first born children pick up quickly.

motherdaughtercookingMy last blog talked about uncreating verbal contracts that we make on a daily basis consciously or subconsciously with words. Before I go any further let me be very clear again not everything taught by parents were in error or removed you away from your authentic self. For instance, my mother’s love of reading, writing, and the English language is my love too. That’s a good thing. But her fear of people and evading conflict was not a good thing and I picked that up as well. You see where I’m going with this. Her books became her escapism to not face harsh realities. And as much as I saw that and disliked it I too did the same thing. It’s not easy tearing away the parts of you that were consummated from a parent. Your emotions are torn in half because you are divorcing yourself from their wounded soul to reclaim your true identity, emotions, thoughts, and voice. It feels like a betrayal. You’ve been a mini-me image living in their world for so long that now that you want to reclaim your authentic self but it feels like abandonment. And to be honest with you, you are abandoning certain traits that were never you in the first place. It’s okay.

motherdaughtersittingThis is an identity contract that you must uncreate. Children no matter the birth order are born with their own unique personality. It’s not fair to their psyche or the Creator to repress their thoughts, emotions, and voice. Yes, they will have features, and partial mannerisms but they will have an opinion and a voice. Let them. Actually, Dr. Evil did Mini-Me a huge favor by rejecting him. I know it didn’t feel right at the moment. Dr. Evil, without thought, sliced Mini-Me away from him but in the end, Mini-Me discovered he was his own person and didn’t need Dr. Evil.

As harsh at it may be seizing your soul back from another soul is the best thing you can do for yourself. Discovering your thoughts, beliefs, mannerism, and voice is an exciting adventure that is priceless. Think about it two souls housed in one soul are multiple souls or personalities vying for top position. Eventually, one will reign supreme and you are forced to make the decision as to which one it will be.

We’re moving into February but by year’s end don’t you want to know the person in the mirror staring back? Take some time before the next blog and write down:

  • Several things that you learned from a parent or one in authority over you as a child that you no longer serves you.
  • Uncreate the contract with that character trait, word, belief, mannerism, opinion, ideology, and replace it with what YOU want.
  • Go back to the last blog and repeat the words to uncreate the contract with what you’ve written above or write your own. Empower yourself utilizing your own words.
  • Start your discovery journal of what you really think, believe, and say it aloud to hear your voice. It’s something about hearing the sound of your voice in your ears that makes this exercise real in reclaiming your soul.

God made you in His image. If you look around not one person looks like the other except identical twins and even they have differences. It’s time for your image to be known in the earth, your thoughts to be written, and voiced in the earth. It’s time for you to be present and accounted for, not mini-me, just me.

 I Am

Until next time remember that you are not alone and “Sweet sleep and angels keep!”

Want to know the 6 elements all children and adults needs then click the image and purchase: lana_web_book_cover

THANK YOU!

Listen to one of my favorite spoken word artists: Janette…ikz “I AM”

All images other than specified are: Getty Images (Royalty-Free)

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Now Playing-Breakthrough 2016!-

Its 2016 Phamily! Im grateful and excited! This is the year of Breakthroughs, Miracles and much more!

Lets define breakthrough. The English thesaurus says, Advance, innovation, invention, revolution, discovery, development, step forward, leap forward, and new idea. YOUR breakthroughs will be big, small, and unusual. Just pay attention.

Add heading (2)Dont betray yourself. Examine patterns of sabotage. How many times have you arrived at a breakthrough and then BAM! Your moment is shut down. Undermining entities such as disappointments and low self-confidence lull your soul asleep to not notice patterns. Lets analyze the effects of undermining entities. What were your emotions and inner talk?  The people that you once assisted did they reciprocate? Were you operating in confidence or apologetically? Were you subconsciously looking at past failures and comparing them to the present moment? Do you see what Im getting at?

WAKE UP CALL. The good thing is patterns never change their modus operandi. Each time your moment was usurped, you had your pity party, got back up and tried again. Resiliency. It strengthened areas that demand a time out to recognize, dissect, and assess, specific behavior, thoughts, and actions. This needful process awakens awareness and challenges you to view your decisions from an aerial vantage point. But more importantly, it forces you to be a vigilant watchdog of your emotions, thoughts, behavior, and who is steering them. In my next blog on 1/9/16, Ill discuss what and how to Uncreate Contracts, a construct of sabotage.

This is our year of breakthroughs, miracles, new doors, opportunities of Gods promises. Lets do this!

On my Facebook page, Author Lana M Hooks, I am posting twice weekly a breakthrough that will happen. Join me and write your breakthrough in the post comment section. Our breakthroughs are real and they will come to pass.

I’m so glad to present to many and introduce to other’s Neil Vermillion. If you haven’t read any of his blogs by all means do so! I guarantee you he can assist you with words of wisdom and insight to reach your breakthroughs! Please check out Neil Vermillion at Daily Prophetic Word. Thank you, Neil, for adopting me into your family! 

Breakthroughs & Miracles; Create Your Experience, Manifest Your Promise!

Please SUBSCRIBE & SHARE on my blog, and

LIKE my Author Lana M Hooks Facebook page, also

FOLLOW me, lmhooks on Twitter, and lastly,

FOLLOW me, lmhooks51, on Instagram.

Thank you!

And as always you are not alone! Sweet sleep and angels keep!

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-

Credit

Images – Getty Images

Book Cover – Ariana Rivera, “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection”; Kelle Hines: Studio 414 Portraits, Inc., “How I Loved Myself”

Graphics – Lana M Hooks/Canva

Quote – Humatora, Anime

http://www.neilvermillion.com/blog/

My Halloween Story

upside down

For the last fifteen years my life has been turned upside down financially, spiritually, socially, physically, combined with the transitioning of family members. I’ve cried, screamed, distanced myself, smiled, attached, forgave, and acquired new belief systems, while old ones weren’t going without a fight. To be more specific, financially, I have been in a place of learning that money is a tool to be utilized to give, build up, be a blessing, to restore dreams and prolong life. I’ve had the entity called Pride knocked outta of me to ask for help, learned how to separate my wants from my needs, and God can do more with less. But the greatest lesson was to learn that God is the supplier of all my needs, wants and desires. Places of employment are the means of earning a paycheck, meeting new people, and learning new skills but again it is not my supplier. Even though I’ve learned this lesson the Universe never stopped downloading dreams and goals that I strongly wanted to perform in the earth. A major part of my personality is that I’m goal oriented. I eagerly worked on those dreams and goals which started off wonderfully but ended up either fizzling out or floating on a buoy.

 I’ve lived a certain way and with that comes a mindset due to circumstances of “well, I guess it’s going to be this way.”  The promises made from the Universe still remained dreams and not manifestations. And it didn’t matter how many people known and unknown were sent my way to keep the dreams alive the disappointments of them not coming into fruition produced a hope deferred. Whether I consciously said it aloud or as a subconscious decision it was made nonetheless.

AB11876This year came in with a different aura. The entity “Hope” was spreading her message all through the land from secular to sacred and both were speaking the same language. I was listening. I heard her cry in the streets and opened my window to let her voice ring in my house. I was happy, excited, and elated until I saw in the third quarter that those promises, dreams, and goals made to me were popping out of my journals, in dreams, and people’s voice to make way for them to manifest. I really believed I was ready! Even though I had been waiting for a very long time I just knew I was ready but my past was right there too. It brought along with it my disappointments, mistrust, deferred hope, rejected attempts, and used to “the way” I had been living which was barely enough to make it by the skin of my teeth. A few insecurities, bad judgements, and misperceptions were thrown in the mix too from having passed this way before in religious settings where I experienced “religious abuse.” To put it succinctly I was scared shitless. Fear ten Hope three but Hope had a plan in the hole.

heart broken womanHope and I have been riding together for a long time. We were down like ‘four flat tires and a spare,’ but I was scared and my heart remembered too much. But she was not giving up that easy. This Halloween was different for me. I don’t celebrate it but damn if the witches, ghouls, ghost, and nightmares didn’t join my past to scare me from making a choice. I woke up from a dream that was not pretty but I knew it was from God. I researched the places, colors, light, dark, objects, etc., and I kinda’ knew what it was speaking but I asked God to reveal what He was really saying to me. I sat my tablet down.

I am taking a webinar course on Influence Training and it is spiritual but not religious. It was a panel of people praying for men and women fifty and over to go the length and “do” their dreams. I was watching the chat bar line being filled with request for prayer for sicknesses, finances, etc. I added my request to the plethora of wants/needs to the chat line.

Transparency: I asked prayer for the entity of ‘Rejection’ and ‘Inferiority’ to be removed.

amazed womanThe chat bar was moving like lightning and even though it was at least four people on the panel watching it and praying for various people I ‘hoped’ someone would see my request. Certain words were being spoken to various people and I was sincerely happy for them to be receiving words of encouragement and kindness. And yes, some of those words rang for me as well and I received them, but it was not until one man who I thought left the webinar came back onto the panel. He said (not verbatim but close to it), “there are people on here who have lived a certain lifestyle for a very long time and are afraid that their promises won’t happen. You’ve been rejected by people and attempts to do better but you decided whether you knew it or not that life wasn’t going to get any better than this.” My mouth hit the floor. He also said, “In a way you’ve gotten use to lack and not having, thinking that well, it’s probably going to be this way, but God says emphatically, No! The promises I’ve made to you are coming to pass. Trust me. Believe one more time and watch me make them come to pass.” As I sat on my wooden bench in front of my laptop I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. God not only answered my request but the dream He gave me that early morning was explained in the word He gave the guy. In that instance I chose to believe Him one more time. It reminded me of a moment I had on New Year’s Eve back in nineteen ninety-four when I made a lifestyle change. The heaviness and dread lifted and I know this is my time. I made a conscious decision to leave my past, beliefs, and the feelings of that era behind. Now I’m not naïve to know that I will have to work my dreams out but I’m collaborating with some wonderful people who mean business. They desire to leave a legacy for our children and another kingdom built on and in Love.

Yeah, my Halloween was spooky but Hope, God, and my conscious decision scared the boogeymen away. And on top of that I had an extra hour to sleep and be restored down to the cellular level. November 1st came in with a refreshing.

If I’m speaking to anyone who has been abused religiously or even in relationships with people of authority and the entities ‘Fear, Rejection, Abandonment, and Verbal Abuse’ are trying to keep you in your past – RUN!  I know the emotions from yesteryear will try and convince you that it won’t be any better but it will be better this time. No, I didn’t say it will be rainbows and lollipops but trust the God of your creation to make it better. Yeah, I know, I trusted Him lotsa times too and nothing came of it but today you know what I discovered? I wasn’t ready for those dreams back then. He was just showing them to me because He wanted me to get my feet wet, reveal to me my pattern of leadership, and to know that my original desires to have a business He honored then and honors now. But we can’t do it alone. I know that’s scary, believe me, I know. But He will send people to assist you so trust and listen to your instincts, guts, and that nagging you feel…lol! Ask for Lady Wisdom and she will show up and give you the words to speak and ears to listen. These new people may have some traits of those that abused you before but take a breath, get still, and ask for your angels to surround you along with Peace. These are not those people. It will work out for you. I believe that for you and for me. I’m not suggesting anything to you that I’m not practicing myself. Like I’ve been saying to you in all my post, “You are not alone.” Let’s walk this place called Life together. Your past won’t let go so easy but you have the power of choice to let go of it.

woman with diary

Namaste’

Now listen to the lyrics of one of my favorite songs from the 80s by McFadden & Whitehead “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now.” That’s my theme song as I dance down the Soul Train of Life! Join me Phamily!

Until next time know that you are not alone, sweet sleep, angels keep!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

How Do We Stop…

familylineage2Hey Phamily! I truly hope all is well with you and your journey in restoring your authentic self. It’s not just a destination but it’s the journey that reveals those parts of your emotional, mental, social, vocal, physical, and spiritual self that have been scattered to the nether parts of your soul. And believe me it is possible to be restored your authenticity in the aforementioned areas. Don’t worry about the time or the how because if you passionately, strongly and any other adjective that you use Desire to be Restored it will happen. I didn’t think it was possible because of my age but that excuse had to be thrown out asap. Why? Because your Desire, magnified to the nth degree, will far outweigh the number of your years on earth and the Divine will restore those lost years with what you missed plus more as a gift to you.

I see you giving me the side-eye…lol!  side eye

That’s okay. I gave the side-eye to the person that told me this too, especially when they were younger than me. But it’s true, I promise you it is. Your childhood adversity can be laid to rest. You just have to Desire it strongly enough and Believe that the Divine can do it. What helps is that you change your Perception of your life’s course. This will in turn change your Trajectory of your path to Restoration. And by the way this is still a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” Recognize. How have you viewed your life’s course up until this point? I know I viewed mine from the entity of Rejection’s perception. From my career choices, to friendships, to financial decisions, and social gatherings, I walked in knowing that I wouldn’t qualify for the higher paying positions, or, I feared in managing my monies. In friendships I knew they would eventually go sour and I would be the dysfunctional cause, and no man that I really liked would like me back. I think you get the picture. Rejection was my perception and my trajectory lined up with what I believed due to how it had been from a little girl. The pattern, I thought, was set and my life spelled out but something happened.

I began to meet people, read books, listen to songs, hear life coaches (remember these are the ways in which my soul authentically gravitates toward) speak another language on positive self-esteem, critical self-talk, anger, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, etc., and you know what I listened. The more they talked the more I listened and desired to be restored. Being healed far outweighed my pain and I wanted to do whatever it took to think with my thoughts, feel with my feelings, and speak unashamedly without seeing a hand hit me in my mouth in my mind’s eye.

prayingwoman1I prayed to God everyday and moment to help me be healed and more importantly open my eyes to see how He wanted me to assist. You know what I kept hearing? Believe. At first it pissed me off because I was like, is that all? It’s got to be more than that. But each time I asked the question my answer was the same. So, I asked Him to help me. I asked Him to open my eyes to see what He saw in me when He created me. I asked Him to make me Aware of my feelings, voice, and thoughts. I wanted to know me inside out. I asked for the entity of Paying Attention so I would know and could write down my thoughts, and know what my feelings felt like and I could hear how my voice really sounded in my ears. I was subconsciously waking up daily and quickly I might add to see this person that I thought I lost at the age of ten. And quite frankly I’m still getting to know me. It comes in stages. There were parts of me that were deeply imbedded in my soul that I didn’t want God to touch. The pain was to great and I wanted to hang on to my anger. I felt that I was justified in my anger and why not? They did it to me. You know who your they are. But it got to a point where I Recognized and was Aware that carrying those they’s were emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically weighing me down and affecting my health. My back hurt more than ever and I was being Tormented by past scenes, situations, and words almost minutely. I cried out to God to remove them from me. I believed He could remove them but I did have a part to play, and phamily, this is not easy but it is necessary. forgive3

Forgiveness as I’d learned was not the definition I grew into. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened to you but it does mean that the anger, rage, murder, blame, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, hate, of your abusers is seen from only, and I do mean only a Divine’s perspective and the intensity of your emotions in that traumatic moment is gone. Now, if there is another way then by all means let me know, but this the way I learned to forgive. The Divine, utilizing what I normally gravitated to books (fiction and non-fiction), positive speakers, dreams, visions, the supernatural if you will, showed me why my abusers behaved the way they did. He did not justify their actions toward me but He explained their behavior to me.

He explained it to me in several ways. The first way was He showed me in conversations I had with someone close to them who knew them as a child. They were eye witnesses to the ill actions that were heaped upon them by a parent or someone they knew in authority. Ten times out of ten your abuser was abused. But I must admit I asked the Divine, “If they were treated the same way then why treat me the exact same way?” The next way was the clincher. I was shown how I exhibited the same behavior only in a different mode. Let me explain. Pride. Yeah, let me talk about the big dogg I’ve had to wrestle with. You would think after all I’d been through that the entity Pride would be the last challenge I’d have but it was the first one and a big one. I was prideful in sneaky ways like if someone didn’t know something and I did I inwardly viewed them as dumb, or I know more than them. I’m going to shame the devil today by being transparent. My God knows all about it because I stand before Him naked and unashamed so…I will leave that there…lol!  Also, I thought that I knew the best way to manage your life when my life was in shambles…but I could tell you what YOU needed to do. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is…LOL! Yes, phamily the entity Pride is a monster and I rush to my God telling Him when it rears its head. So when I saw me as my abuser’s it was an humbling experience and forgiveness was my key to exit and leave that place of Righteous Anger of what they did to me. I too was an abuser and a Religious Bully at that. My memoir explains more about my religious upbringing. Now I don’t know if my abuser’s wanted to know why they behaved in such a manner or even realized that their behavior was abusive but I do know that God is an equal opportunity employer. I can’t answer for them but…

I forgave. Soul freed. Intense emotions from that abusive moment are gone. Forgiveness attained. Done. forgive4

When you see yourself as the abuser it puts a different spin on Forgiveness. Now I can talk about horrid past scenes without my emotions being involved. Or, as the young adults say, “I’m not caught up in my feelings.” I can see the situation from a Perception that is whole and healed and my Trajectory is changed because I’m Aware of my words, thoughts, and feelings and also how Pride can enter. Also, I do pray as led for those who abused me. Knowing what I know about them it is easier for me to assess their emotional terrain when a certain behavior comes on the scene. I do know how to protect myself as well. Just because I forgave them doesn’t mean I put myself in harm’s way. Wisdom phamily, Wisdom. 😉 And you do know that what you wrestle with will come back and try you again. It wants to see if the door is really closed and Forgivess is on guard.

Well, I have a TedTalks I want you to listen to. It’s located on the right side of your screen where normally I’d put a music video. But today I invite you to listen to Benjamin Perks and his talk on “How Do We Stop Childhood Adversity from Becoming a Life Sentence,” TEDxPodgorica. It is worth fifteen minutes to really listen to and view his film.

I promise you Forgiveness is just waiting on you to acknowledge how heavy your soul is carrying all those people, their words, behaviors, and abusive acts toward you around. Your mind, body, and emotions will thank you. Oh, one last thing. Co-workers, peers, and family are noticing how much weight I’ve lost. And I tell them, “Thank you. I’m getting those other people off and outta me.”

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” athttps://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?” 

familylineage1familylineage

THANK YOU

Words Followed By Signs

kidfunbeachLast time phamily we identified our Playground, our safe place, and played a game of ‘Tag’. We talked about ‘The Four R’s on Your Journey.’

  • First you had to ‘Remember’ your playground, your safe place. Whether the equipment on your playground was the swings, slide, jungle gym, or a place in your present, what’s important is you established your safe ground. Then you were also asked to remember the traumatic situation(s) that has followed you from your childhood into adulthood. I’m sure those were tough memories to remember and write down. But it’s something about writing down horrid experiences. You tend to remember more than what you thought you did and that’s a good thing.
  • Did you remember the small details?  Did you have dreams or visions that possibly filled in the gaps of those traumatic moments? I hope you wrote them down. They bring gifts of healing, forgiveness, and letting go of entities that have harassed you long enough.

Fear

CASE IN POINT: In my memoir I went to our church camp with a group of peers that I didn’t necessarily want to be around, especially one. I called her ‘Birdfinger’ (explanation in the memoir). To make a long story short, it was a rule at the camp that you had to sweep around your bed and make it up before you left the dormitory. I did. I went downstairs to wait on some young girls I met weeks before at camp. Birdfinger was told by my relative, our supervisor, to come back upstairs. My neat bedclothes were now thrown aside and debris was under my bed. In a two story dormitory military lined with two hundred beds my relative screamed at me like I was the trash underneath my bed. Trying to defend myself was nil because she never believed me anyway. I just redid my bed and swept once again.  All I remembered before I started writing my memoir was how no one took up for me or protected me. When I started this chapter I sat back and through raging emotions and tears I yelled at God and asked why didn’t He send someone to protect me? That’s when He gave me a vision of a lady with an afro sitting by a window watching the entire scene. She had tears in her eyes. I cried the more I saw her looking at me with eyes of compassion and love. I realized that the lady was God. The hurt, pain, rage, anger, and blame left my body. I felt those entities lift right up off me. Now grant it I did ask why didn’t He intervene and He told me He couldn’t because it was a part of the plan for my life. And no, I didn’t like His answer but to have those entities off of me was pure heaven. This is what I mean by small details you can miss when you’re being traumatized at any age. God reveals them to heal you at the appropriate time.

summerfun

LET’S TAKE A BREAK AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING FUN:

YOUR DISCOVERY ADVENTURE

Familiar & Practical

  • Did you find out what your soul normally gravitates to? Remember mine is the written or spoken word. I love YA, like author Jaime Reed’s “Living Violet,” or the Paranormal genre, the late great author L.A. Banks The Vampire Huntress Legend Series. As of late I’ve come to know personally and love author, Alicia McCalla. Her Dystopian/YA novel, “Breaking Free,” is a fav read due to her covert inclusion of historical events in this genetic revolution. Check her out at her site and SUBSCRIBE!  You won’t be disappointed.

The other half of your assignment was what abilities have you discovered that you like? It can also be a trait. Are you adventurous? Do you want to travel and see the world? Are you a gardener? COMMENT BELOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!

In what creative ways did you found out what your soul naturally gravitates too? Were you reading a book? On the train, in your car, walking? Listening to a conversation, watching television, or maybe dreaming? I really like would like to know because that’s the FUN of this adventure! Finding hidden parts of your self is a beacon of hope!

Okay, let’s get back to the second ‘R’ on your journey:

RECOGNIZE

  • From those traumatic events did you recognize patterns of behaviors from your childhood that you’ve used to survive in your adulthood? Some may be excellent survival strategies but others need to be either modified or deleted.
  •  Can you identify how trauma has affected your choices in several areas of your life? The emotional abuse that you endured has kept you in a holding pattern, shock if you will, in not understanding what your normal is when u comes to making decisions. It’s not in all situations in your life but in some cases you make decisions based on survival instincts of your childhood instead of analyzation and reason in the present. You may be afraid to make a decision based on a past traumatic act that possibly insulted your abilities, demeaned your character, or slaughtered your self-worth.

I know you’ve covered a lot of traumatic emotional territory of your past and I’m sure some of it was not easy to view but it was necessary. I truly commend you for your courage my phriend. It’s not easy to revisit unpleasant places but you are and that is a heart of resiliency and courage. You are feeling the fear and doing it anyway. But let’s take a moment and sit down here and discuss the tag team of ‘Recognize’ while I introduce its twin, the third stage ‘Remove.’

REMOVE

The third stage ‘Remove’ is when you “Discover how to remove certain behaviors and words that no longer serve you in the present moment.”  These two can work together and are interchangeable depending on what traumatic memory is prevalent at the time. Some behaviors and words are easier to remove than others. And those behaviors and words are deeply imbedded in your soul, your psyche, still protecting the little girl that was emotionally damaged. They are the chasm that separates the little girl and the adult. But as an adult you are discovering that a certain behavior and/or word due to possibly fear, rejection, or rebellion has outlived its usefulness. Now it’s time to face the fear and learn a new behavior even when you may not know what to do but do it anyway.

CASE IN POINT: I’ve mentioned before I’ve never liked confrontation. It’s a bitter pill for me to swallow due to being either vehemently screamed at or smacked in the mouth. I learned to fear opening my mouth and speaking my authentic thoughts because of these repercussions. So I held everything in and only spoke what I really wanted to say in my mind. I cursed and killed my abuser a thousand times over and meant every. last. word. Yes, I did repent and eventually forgive my abusers. Lol!

Long story short in the past two weeks I’ve had to confront the two types of people I feared the most, an aggressive female bully and an alpha male. I’ve longed to overcome these fears that began in childhood and continued into my adult years. Well, it happened, and yes, I was scared but I held my ground and opened my mouth and said what I had to say without backing down. And you know what I didn’t get smacked in the mouth or verbally abused. Yes, they spoke their mind as well but we did it in an adult manner and afterwards we had a better understanding of each other. It doesn’t mean we’re bosom buddies but that’s not the point. When I say I felt lighter, happier, and the entity Torment did not have any foothold in my soul to hang on to. Wow!

I had already ‘Recognized’ that it was high time to overcome this childhood fear but each time I was given a chance to I shirked and failed the test. But this time ‘Removal’ wouldn’t allow me to back down and I didn’t want to either. There will come a time that you can’t back down. You will, and must confront whatever has held you in static shock. As a result of these moments physically my body has rested the entire night and my outlook on people has changed. I have returned to the stronghold of hope and my relationship with my Creator and self is more intimate than ever.

lanasmiling

WORDS FOLLOWED BY SIGNS:

                       PEACEFUL

                       HOPEFUL

                       INTIMACY

                       DETERMINED

                       FEARLESS

                       CONTENT

                       TRUSTING

                       ASSURED

DISCOVERY: TELL ME YOUR SIGNS!  I REALLY WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. COMMENT IN THE SECTION BELOW.

Until next time keep allowing the stages of ‘Recognize’ and ‘Remove’ do their jobs. It will be a ‘Tag’ team process and even if you don’t respond by facing your childhood fear don’t worry it will come back at a different time, same type of personality, just a different person. The quicker you face it the quicker you will find your adult truth in the situation followed by signs in your body as it is being healed.

ENJOY FREEBIES!

    To your right SIGN-UP as a SUBSCRIBER! I have a FREE GIFT awaiting you below!!! Also there will be other FREEBIES coming REAL SOON as well!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

namefaces

WE ARE PHAMILY

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

THANK YOU

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

Lana M Hooks

FREEBIE DOWNLOAD!anotherarrow

-You are worthy to be loved!-

 

LAST THING PHAMILY ENJOY MS. JILL SCOTT! HER SONGS SPEAK TO ME IN WAYS THAT ARE NOT JUST EARTHLY BUT SPIRITUAL! I HOPE YOU “FEEL” WHAT I’M SAYING. SIT BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE BEVERAGE AND JUST LISTEN TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG AND KNOW THAT ‘HE’ LOVES YOU, YOU’RE SPECIAL…

Book Review and a Confession: The Sage brings it Full Circle, “God Help the Child” by Toni Morrison

Book Review and a Confession: The Sage brings it Full Circle, “God Help the Child” by Toni Morrison

God Help The Child

Thirty-five years ago sitting in a small classroom at a Big Ten university I was given a syllabus by my instructor. Little did I know that an assigned book entitled “The Bluest Eye” by author #ToniMorrison would speak to my silenced soul. The main character Pecola believed that whiteness was beautiful and her dark skin was ugly. She also believed that if she had blue eyes her life would be somehow different and those that were charged to protect her would finally love her. Skin color was not my issue but I had the same belief as Pecola. If I were smaller those that were given to be stewards over my life would love me too. I read this book in one night. I cried as I read Pecola’s emotional and behavioral struggle. But in hindsight I believe I was crying with Pecola, acknowledging and sharing her angst, and learned self-hatred. It was the first time I’d ever read a book that unlocked a part of my wounded soul that I kept locked with a deadbolt. Fast forward. Thirty-five years. It’s July 8, 2015.

I’m sitting at the MARTA Kensington train station reading “God Help the Child.” The main character is Lula Ann but as an adult she calls herself ‘Bride.’ Uncanny that as I’m reading she reminds me of Pecola in skin color but darker, “blue-black” as her mother Sweetness spoke of her child. I don’t want to give away the story but I will say this, if you’ve ever been emotionally abused, verbally and physically and you’re still battling the trauma of those events, this book is for you. It’s about what and how you deal with the trauma in the aftermath of having survived the hell you’ve gone through. All the while I was reading I thought it was about Bride and it is but Booker her lover and his aunt Olive were the ones who as they say in church ‘gave me a word’ that wrecked my existence.

Bride is searching for Booker who left her without a full explanation. He just plainly told her, “You’re not the one.” Her anger not being satisfied with his statement and an unpaid pawn shop bill that was addressed to her residence sends her on a road trip in search of this man. The road trip is a metaphor for Bride to contemplate her past relationship with her mother, her teaching life lessons to Bride, the neglect of not being touched, the denial of seeing others sexually abused, and the lies to gain her mother’s attention and longing for her touch. This truly is more than a road trip. A brilliant and creative addition that Ms. Morrison includes is, as Bride is reminiscing on her past, her physical body is reverting back to that little blue-black girl with virgin earlobes and childlike breast. Her wounded emotions and past scenes of her life through the people that she meets along the way to find Booker force her to reevaluate her present life, behavior, and beliefs.

There are other supporting characters such as Brooklyn, her Caucasian best friend that is extremely Envious of Bride. She hides it well, but as you read you will see it rear its head out of hiding in pretending to ‘be on her side.’ Sofia, a teacher who was identified as being a child molester when Lula Ann was a student has been released. Bride desires to meet her to welcome her back in society. Not a good idea. Sweetness, Bride’s mother knows deep down she thoroughly messed up in raising her. She thinks she was preparing her for the world because of her color but the only thing she did was push Bride away. And in the end Bride pushed her away into a place where she is safe from her mother’s words and her presence.  Sweetness is given the basic respect of a child. Bride sends her letters to inform her of her life and sometimes inclusive of money to make sure she is well-taken cared of but never her presence. That loving touch she denied her child is now being denied to her in her mature years.

When Bride finally finds Booker their meeting is loud, volatile and even though I don’t like physicality in that manner, this was very much needed. The reservoir of left behind energy explodes from emotions that have been bottled up far too long. It does settle down with Bride spent from exerting all that energy and falling asleep. But it’s the dialogue between he and his Aunt Olive, as Bride sweetly sleeps, from pages one fifty-six through one fifty-nine that kept me reading them over and over on the train until I reached Five Points and boarded my next train to get to work. My train ride and reading that dialogue, as Bride’s road trip, ignited me to go back to see what I left from my past that I needed now. But it also told me in no uncertain terms how I sabotaged what Life was bringing me to change my situation. Sometimes you really have to question why is it when Life comes to transform your belief system, change your lifestyle, or give you your heart’s desire you push it away? Do you think you are being noble to not let go of an ignorant word spoken from another wounded vessel? Do you feel like if you let go of a deceased person you loved and they loved you in return is betraying that person? Can you be loved? Do you deserve to be loved? Do you manage the dead or do they manage you?

Those four pages urged me to clean out all my bins of books, clothes and other material wares and donate them to one of my charities. Cleaning out my bins I came across thoughts in journals, words of enlightenment, poems, undergraduate thesis, Black history papers and bio’s, spiritual writings on growth and insight to the soul, and international travel brochures. I picked back up from those bins what I forgot. And that night I dreamt of my deceased mother who I spoke to on the phone but I could see her and she gave me a message of hope.

Ms. Morrison opened again a part of my soul that other people had been telling me in so many words but just like in “The Bluest Eye” Ms. Morrison has a way with words that make you see clearly. Or, maybe I was ready to not just hear these words but destroy a belief system that was managing me. The Divine knew that Ms. Morrison could get His point across to me and I wouldn’t miss it.

This book is ten stars and then some. Ms. Morrison’s excellent novel’s message came full circle in my soul. I’ve never been more at peace than I am now. The alignment was perfect. From reading the excerpt in Essence magazine in my birthday month of May, to receiving it as a birthday gift by my sister friend, who came as a surprise for my birthday gathering from Maryland, this was divinely orchestrated. Thank you Ms. Morrison for not just hearing my soul cry but countless others whose spirit wooed you to write this divine work.

I said it in the beginning and I will say it as I end. If you have been emotionally abused, verbally and physically, this book is for you. Now don’t jump ahead to those pages I mentioned that’s cheating…lol! Read these character’s lives and hear their voice. You might just hear yours intertwined with theirs.

Book Review and a Confession: The Sage brings it Full Circle, “God Help the Child” by Toni Morrison

Book Review and a Confession: The Sage brings it Full Circle, “God Help the Child” by Toni Morrison

God Help The Child

Thirty-five years ago sitting in a small classroom at a Big Ten university I was given a syllabus by my instructor. Little did I know that an assigned book entitled “The Bluest Eye” by author #ToniMorrison would speak to my silenced soul. The main character Pecola believed that whiteness was beautiful and her dark skin was ugly. She also believed that if she had blue eyes her life would be somehow different and those that were charged to protect her would finally love her. Skin color was not my issue but I had the same belief as Pecola. If I were smaller those that were given to be stewards over my life would love me too. I read this book in one night. I cried as I read Pecola’s emotional and behavioral struggle. But in hindsight I believe I was crying with Pecola, acknowledging and sharing her angst, and learned self-hatred. It was the first time I’d ever read a book that unlocked a part of my wounded soul that I kept locked with a deadbolt. Fast forward. Thirty-five years. It’s July 8, 2015.

I’m sitting at the MARTA Kensington train station reading “God Help the Child.” The main character is Lula Ann but as an adult she calls herself ‘Bride.’ Uncanny that as I’m reading she reminds me of Pecola in skin color but darker, “blue-black” as her mother Sweetness spoke of her child. I don’t want to give away the story but I will say this, if you’ve ever been emotionally abused, verbally and physically and you’re still battling the trauma of those events, this book is for you. It’s about what and how you deal with the trauma in the aftermath of having survived the hell you’ve gone through. All the while I was reading I thought it was about Bride and it is but Booker her lover and his aunt Olive were the ones who as they say in church ‘gave me a word’ that wrecked my existence.

Bride is searching for Booker who left her without a full explanation. He just plainly told her, “You’re not the one.” Her anger not being satisfied with his statement and an unpaid pawn shop bill that was addressed to her residence sends her on a road trip in search of this man. The road trip is a metaphor for Bride to contemplate her past relationship with her mother, her teaching life lessons to Bride, the neglect of not being touched, the denial of seeing others sexually abused, and the lies to gain her mother’s attention and longing for her touch. This truly is more than a road trip. A brilliant and creative addition that Ms. Morrison includes is, as Bride is reminiscing on her past, her physical body is reverting back to that little blue-black girl with virgin earlobes and childlike breast. Her wounded emotions and past scenes of her life through the people that she meets along the way to find Booker force her to reevaluate her present life, behavior, and beliefs.

There are other supporting characters such as Brooklyn, her Caucasian best friend that is extremely Envious of Bride. She hides it well, but as you read you will see it rear its head out of hiding in pretending to ‘be on her side.’ Sofia, a teacher who was identified as being a child molester when Lula Ann was a student has been released. Bride desires to meet her to welcome her back in society. Not a good idea. Sweetness, Bride’s mother knows deep down she thoroughly messed up in raising her. She thinks she was preparing her for the world because of her color but the only thing she did was push Bride away. And in the end Bride pushed her away into a place where she is safe from her mother’s words and her presence.  Sweetness is given the basic respect of a child. Bride sends her letters to inform her of her life and sometimes inclusive of money to make sure she is well-taken cared of but never her presence. That loving touch she denied her child is now being denied to her in her mature years.

When Bride finally finds Booker their meeting is loud, volatile and even though I don’t like physicality in that manner, this was very much needed. The reservoir of left behind energy explodes from emotions that have been bottled up far too long. It does settle down with Bride spent from exerting all that energy and falling asleep. But it’s the dialogue between he and his Aunt Olive, as Bride sweetly sleeps, from pages one fifty-six through one fifty-nine that kept me reading them over and over on the train until I reached Five Points and boarded my next train to get to work. My train ride and reading that dialogue, as Bride’s road trip, ignited me to go back to see what I left from my past that I needed now. But it also told me in no uncertain terms how I sabotaged what Life was bringing me to change my situation. Sometimes you really have to question why is it when Life comes to transform your belief system, change your lifestyle, or give you your heart’s desire you push it away? Do you think you are being noble to not let go of an ignorant word spoken from another wounded vessel? Do you feel like if you let go of a deceased person you loved and they loved you in return is betraying that person? Can you be loved? Do you deserve to be loved? Do you manage the dead or do they manage you?

Those four pages urged me to clean out all my bins of books, clothes and other material wares and donate them to one of my charities. Cleaning out my bins I came across thoughts in journals, words of enlightenment, poems, undergraduate thesis, Black history papers and bio’s, spiritual writings on growth and insight to the soul, and international travel brochures. I picked back up from those bins what I forgot. And that night I dreamt of my deceased mother who I spoke to on the phone but I could see her and she gave me a message of hope.

Ms. Morrison opened again a part of my soul that other people had been telling me in so many words but just like in “The Bluest Eye” Ms. Morrison has a way with words that make you see clearly. Or, maybe I was ready to not just hear these words but destroy a belief system that was managing me. The Divine knew that Ms. Morrison could get His point across to me and I wouldn’t miss it.

This book is ten stars and then some. Ms. Morrison’s excellent novel’s message came full circle in my soul. I’ve never been more at peace than I am now. The alignment was perfect. From reading the excerpt in Essence magazine in my birthday month of May, to receiving it as a birthday gift by my sister friend, who came as a surprise for my birthday gathering from Maryland, this was divinely orchestrated. Thank you Ms. Morrison for not just hearing my soul cry but countless others whose spirit wooed you to write this divine work.

I said it in the beginning and I will say it as I end. If you have been emotionally abused, verbally and physically, this book is for you. Now don’t jump ahead to those pages I mentioned that’s cheating…lol! Read these character’s lives and hear their voice. You might just hear yours intertwined with theirs.

Your Name – Flight, Fight, or Both

Your Name – Flight, Fight, or Both
Your name matters!
Your name matters!

 

“The fight-or-flight response (also called the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response [in PTSD], hyperarousal, or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful eventattack, or threat to survival.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response_%28in_humans%29)

Refer to this definition as often as needed during this blog. I’m sure you will 😉

me1I grew up in the era of names like Michelle, Rochelle, Bianca, Denise, Trina, Karen, Tayren, and here I was Lana. It is pronounced “Lah-nuh,” or “Lan-nuh.” Either one is fine with me but when one pronounces it like “Lane-nuh,” or “Line-nuh,” I see red! Suffice it to say I hated my name.

Have you ever visited bookstores and on a carousel were name cards and their meanings? Did you vigorously look for your name but never found it? Me too.

It wasn’t until I was in my late twenty’s that I was given a card for my birthday by a very good friend. She had a special gift to give people cards that said exactly what they needed to hear. When I saw what my name meant I cried. The card said, “Light,” and the picture on the front was that of an eagle. The scripture attached was Isaiah 40:31, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint,” (English Standard Version).

Everywhere I went that card was with me. It reminded me that I was “Light,” even though I’d existed and operated in darkness, beginning in the womb of my mother. My life was dark, dank, and it stunk. I hid most of the time from the light. I hid in the background blending in with the scenery, or underneath the basement stairwell as a child to block out the verbal trash thrown at me. But my favorite place to hide was in television shows, romance novels, or a pornographic tale. Yep! Darkness was my friend, confidant and my secret keeper. It allowed me to unleash my anger, rage, bitterness, jealousy, hate and murder against those who verbally or at times physically abused me. This was my light and I was in both modes. I was fighting to be left alone and in flight to get emotionally and physically away from family, religious circles and academic halls. The words that I was called and the statements I was told like, “fat, dysfunctional, stupid, average, and no man will marry me because I was fat,” I was far away from being light. I was darkness personified and I believed that I was with my whole heart.

In the beginning of the new millennial I was compelled to further research the meaning of my name. With the swiftness of the internet and a push of a button several meanings flew across the screen. Still killing trees (didn’t have recycled paper) I wrote them down in my journal to look at the meanings from other cultures.

  • In Latin, it means, “wooly and appealing to the eye.” Don’t judge but I had too much testosterone in my body and yes, I had to shave quite frequently. I operated in both modes. This further proved, in my mind, that I wasn’t feminine enough. This was another negative strike against me of not being able to have a boyfriend.
  • In Hawaiian, it means, “calm as still waters; afloat.”  Well, I appeared calm to people on the outside, but inside I was a raging bull, which happens to be my birth sign – Taurus. And I can’t swim to save my life. Flight.
  • In Ireland, it means, “little rock.” My heart had been hardened over time just like a rock, and had built a mountain. Fight.
  • In Gaelic, it means, “child.” This one touches me the most because of the verbal abuse as a child and the trauma it left in its wake. As an adult I’ve had to listen to my child express her voice – something she couldn’t do at the appropriate age.
  • Just as of late, the Urban Dictionary’s definition of my name agrees with in my being. It is, “sweet, melodious, soft voice, sensuous, caring, sultry, loyal friend and protective mother, smoldering hottie under the angelic appearance, a lady in every way, intelligent, educated and a fine specimen of womanhood who is peace loving and will work to make things right in the world, a true lover of all people who also makes a good teacher, nurse or healer. She is a born leader but humble about it, and will always encourage you to do your best. She has high standards and loves her men to be intelligent, kind, responsible and healthy. Once you have her heart, she will do anything for you. Once you betray her, she will forgive you but never trust you again. She is a good hearted woman, but not a fool.” This definition partially sums my personality, character, beliefs, gifts and occupations in a nutshell.

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Now it’s your turn. Write down your name in your journal. Look it up on the internet and write down every definition you find. If your name is more modern like Alize’, Subaru, Tanisha, Tanqueray or a combination of a family or friend’s name look their names up and you will find your meaning. This research will be life changing because you will see the scenes of your life play right before your eyes. You will discern your behavior and/or action of flight, fight or both in existing or hopefully living your life.

As I gave you the examples of the meanings of my name you can see the fight, flight or both. The revelations of these definitions will explain why you were treated as such and this will also give you the courage to reclaim the positivity of your name. Now if your name means something belittling, demeaning or offensive this is where you will have to view the opposite of its meaning and embrace those words. Another way to embrace the positive nature of your name is to research the origins of your name. It may be embedded in another name. For example, Alize’ has its origins in French and English but it also sounds like several other variations in African, Greek, and Hebrew. The meaning of it is, “Trade-winds.” Choose the definition that resonates within your gut. Your gut response will be the true meaning of your name as it relates to your journey. There is another spelling and definition of Alize, which is the wine and it means “Clouds of Heaven.” If you can’t choose right now take some time and pray and/or meditate over the definitions and wait until you get an answer that brings peace to your soul.

nonameLastly, if you’ve never liked your name ask yourself why? What made you not like your name? Was an unkind word said about your name? Were you named after a relative that maybe your family didn’t like but they liked their name? I  know. They why name you after a person they didn’t like? [Sigh] The story surrounding your name will reveal why your life has taken emotional, mental and sometimes physical twists and turns.

In spite of how and why you were given a name, you have the power to change the meaning of your name.  My name means “Light,” even though I experienced darkness. I decided, I chose to turn my back on the darkness and see the light in me and around me. It wasn’t as easy as saying it because darkness didn’t want to let go so easy and truthfully I was afraid to let go of my familiar friend as well. Daily I stumbled, but got back up to seek the “Light” in me. In each cultural meaning of my name I took the positive and made it my own. I’m still doing this process, daily. I refuse to agree with the critic of my present and the abuser’s voice of my past. I, with my Creator, determine the trajectory of my emotions, behavior, and beliefs.

Some people have changed their names to a name that they believe fits who they are. This is there way of taking back their power over the ones who abused them.  Renaming yourself to your liking is perfectly alright. But your name, chosen, by your parents speaks volumes to the building of your foundations of your belief systems and if you change your name then those systems must be changed as well.

I want you to spend some time in this area because:

  1. These will more than likely dredge up memories whether good, bad, ugly, or indifferent. Write them down. Ask the Universe why…? And only you can finish the ending of that question.
  2.  Going forward you will never view yourself the same again. You will analyze your belief systems to see how your name has affected your emotions and behaviors.
  3. This sets the tone for our gatherings and journey back to your authenticity.

As you are researching your name email me your questions and please leave a comment below about this blog. I do want to hear from you and see how your journey is going.

loveyournameAlso when you have come to terms with your name say it aloud several times to hear your voice! YOUR VOICE! Keep repeating it for as long as you want. Why?

  1. Pay attention to its impact and frequency in your soul! It will “feel” quite different than before you chose to be at peace with your name.
  2. Feel the confidence you exude to yourself and others.
  3. And from this point on nicely correct those who may mispronounce your name or incorrectly spell it.
  4. Your name is not just your name it is by whom you are addressed and its meanings carry your past, present and future. Take back your power, your energy, and your name – in love!

Namaste