That was Yesterday


Living in the past and viewing the past is two totally different belief systems and behaviors. A scenario from a co-worker can best explain the distinction. The names have been altered.

Moon: I think I made a mistake.

River: What do you mean? What happened?

Moon: Well, I was going over my messages that I’ve sent over to the head office and I think that I put the wrong message on another’s client’s chart.

(Moon’s normal small eyes are huge like her name.)

River: Ok Moon, let me look at the case and see. I’ll come over to your desk.

(River gears up for the worst to access the damage. Outwardly she’s cool, inside she’s trying to find the road, she needs to navigate the situation and Moon. Moon retells the story and shows River on the computer what possibly could have passed for the mix-up. As River listens, she has visibly seen the process of why this happened. Moon completes her explanation. She looks to River to repair the situation. She looks for hope.)

River: Ok Moon. First of all, you just got here and you’re not going to know everything about this position. Second, it’s not that bad. Let me make a phone call and speak with my go-to person there so we can rectify this. In the meantime, I will add an addendum to the note you’ve sent.

(Moon’s face softens, and her shoulders relax – a bit. River madly writes the new note as Moon watches. River notices Moon’s mouth is made into an ‘o’. She’s breathing through her mouth.)

(River calls her contact. They discuss the messages and several options how this can be handled. They determine, as Moon intently watches River’s face and listens to half the telephone conversation. River hangs up.)

River: Ok Moon, this is how we decided to manage the messages.

Moon: Am I in trouble? Oh, my… I just got here…

River: Calm down Moon. You’re not in any trouble. You just got here, and we don’t expect for you to know everything. Errors will be cleared, but the good thing about this is, you will think of this moment and know what to do if this situation comes up again. Also, the client will be fine. It was merely a matter, ensuring the client’s actual message was fixed. So, it’s alright, really. Everything has been worked out for you.

Moon: Oh, thank you River. I really appreciate all your help.

River: You’re welcome, but let me ask you a question. What made you look back at your message?

Moon: I check them because I want to see if I made any mistakes and when I saw that I knew was not the message I had written for the correct person.

River: Well, it was a good thing that you went over the message. But all is well now so just be mindful of the names on the account. Just take your time, okay?

Moon: I will. But I could have sworn I wrote that message on the other account.

River: Well, it’s fine now.

(For River the situation is over, and she goes back to her work.)


A couple of minutes later River looks up and sees Moon staring at the computer screen and holding her arm.

River: Moon, are you ok?

Moon: She turns around, “Yes, I am fine. We did all that we could, and I will watch the accounts to make sure I notate the correct one.”

River: You’re sure you’re all right?

Moon: Yes, that was yesterday. I’m good. I did all that I knew to do. I can do no more

When Moon made that statement about “that was yesterday” it touched me deeply. Here was a scenario that could have run amiss. The confusion could have potentially been distressing for the client. Moon listened to her intuition to check on her work, and she obeyed. She asked for help, nervously trusted the situation to someone whom she felt would make the best possible assessment and waited. She waited for an unknown outcome, hoping it would be favorable. I could see the questions forming in her mind from possible past similar experiences. Being a new employee would this be a blight on her new journey? Me telling her what the other voice she couldn’t hear on the phone say the solution worked in her favor. I saw her finally breathe a full breath and let it go. Moon allowed herself to feel and experience her emotions. She allowed them to pass through her and not keep them bottled up inside of her soul to create wounds. Her silence came not to keep rehashing the situation in her mind, but to allow peace, contentment and gratefulness to occupy the place where fear once resided. Her simple reply, “that was yesterday” is a person who was now viewing her past and living in the moment.

Gleaning from this hour scenario I sat at my desk and thought about past situations that I was still living in. I decided that when I got to my safe place, I’d write each one down. I did. I also decided that no matter where I’m at in the process I would say to each one, “that was yesterday.”

What are you going to say to the unpleasant childhood memories? Are you going to continue to live in the past or view them from the present with no toxic emotional attachment? Are you going to forgive all parties involved and that does include yourself? Are you going to finally accept you did what you thought was best at the moment, and the belief or behavior you used to protect you no longer serves you? Or are you going to allow yourself to finally say, “that was yesterday?”


Go Further

Go Further



Go Further

These two words from a sister friend haunt, yet, excites me. It’s a challenge to go beyond what you’ve been told, what you’ve heard, and what you’ve seen. It matters not the dysfunctional family circumstance, or not, you were born into. Your past familial decisions and interactions, yes, can be a factor but in your grasp, you have the power of choice. Another statement echoes heavily in my mind, “When you know better you do better.” You do have viable thoughts, a relevant voice, and emotions that can be healed and balanced. I’m stating what I’m practicing daily. Go further.

Go further.


Being African American, majored in African American Studies, and a reader I’m constantly reminded of those who’ve laid down their very lives for freedom?  Sometimes I wonder if this is really the 21st century. It’s funny. I’ve been rummaging through my black history books and papers from undergraduate and graduate school. I compared articles from the past with articles in the present. With the exception of the date, names, and places it’s a “Different century but same shit.”  It’s sad that we have to proclaim that #BlackLivesMatter in 2016. Just as “Black Power” was the war cry of the late 60s and 70s this is our rallying cry in the new millennium. Really?! When I see that hashtag an image in my head from Spike Lee’s movie, “School Daze,” stands out and it’s at the end of the movie. Laurence Fishburne is outside in the college yard screaming at the top of his lungs “WAKE UP!” Beyoncé is on the chopping block for her song “Formation” at Super Bowl Fifty for honoring her culture. WOW! Look at the media hype when someone of her stature honors her culture. The true consciousness of a people emerges when a culture takes pride in their ethnicity. The terms “radical, arrogant, terrorist, militant, thug, not appropriate” among others are yelled in arrogance and ignorance. Sad.  I want to act surprised but I can’t. This is the reality as of February 14, 2016, and it’s getting worse.

Go further.


People are being let go from their employment without a hint of the impending notice. The sensitivity and delicate subject of releasing employees are handled like pigs in a slaughterhouse. They are not withdrawing enough monies from their employees to even file for unemployment. This is devastating for families who are living paycheck to paycheck which is ninety-eight percent of America.

Even as I write this I still hear “go further,” ringing in my head. I believe there is something beyond this level of consciousness that we are to exhibit. It will take guts, courage, risk, insight, and faith for humanity to make this jump to a higher consciousness.

Can it be done? Yes, one person waking up, letting go of what no longer serves them, learning the lessons in every situation, and courageously taking steps one day at a time.

Will it be done? Yes, by few, but sincere and choosing to live, walk, and be in their authenticity.

Go further is a mandate. It’s a proclamation followed by individual decrees. It’s a resolve to be an authentic human, be the change in the world, and to not be sidetracked by the rhetorical garbage spewing in every form of media.

Allow a different spirit to overtake you and see there are no giants in the land. That power is in your hand, and if not, ask the Universe to show you who took your power and take it back! The Universe is waiting for you to show up. The Universe is on your side and loves you. I know it’s hard to believe that but take the risk and find out for yourself. This is your time to “Go Further!”


Remember you are not alone! Sweet sleep and angels keep! Namaste’lana_web_book_cover

Listen to one of my favorite motivational coaches – Lisa Nichols! This is Google Talk and she is sharing from her new book, “Abundance Now.” Listen and listen and listen again! This phenomenal woman is here to show us that “ordinary people do extraordinary things.” Let her push you into making your dreams become concrete!


Mini or Me?

Mini or Me?


I’m sure you’ve seen the Austin Power movies with Dr. Evil and his sidekick Mini-Me who mimics him. Watching a marathon of these movies, I can’t remember which one, Dr. Evil’s biological son returns home and Mini-Me gets jealous. In his mind, he’s been the faithful son for a long time and now he’s being replaced. He desperately tries to regain his position with Dr. Evil but he rejects Mini-Me’s attempts at mimicking him. What once made Dr. Evil so happy is now a turn off to him since his biological son has returned.

fatherdaughterskyI thought of how children try their hardest to impress their parents especially first born children. Parenting does not come with a rule book, or a set of instructions to teach you how to raise a child. So what do most parents do? They raise their child like how they were raised. Teaching them the same way as they were taught but not giving a thought at times that not everything they learned was necessarily all good. Parents pass down character traits, beliefs, mannerisms, opinions, ideologies, likes, dislikes, and even colloquial terms that first born children pick up quickly.

motherdaughtercookingMy last blog talked about uncreating verbal contracts that we make on a daily basis consciously or subconsciously with words. Before I go any further let me be very clear again not everything taught by parents were in error or removed you away from your authentic self. For instance, my mother’s love of reading, writing, and the English language is my love too. That’s a good thing. But her fear of people and evading conflict was not a good thing and I picked that up as well. You see where I’m going with this. Her books became her escapism to not face harsh realities. And as much as I saw that and disliked it I too did the same thing. It’s not easy tearing away the parts of you that were consummated from a parent. Your emotions are torn in half because you are divorcing yourself from their wounded soul to reclaim your true identity, emotions, thoughts, and voice. It feels like a betrayal. You’ve been a mini-me image living in their world for so long that now that you want to reclaim your authentic self but it feels like abandonment. And to be honest with you, you are abandoning certain traits that were never you in the first place. It’s okay.

motherdaughtersittingThis is an identity contract that you must uncreate. Children no matter the birth order are born with their own unique personality. It’s not fair to their psyche or the Creator to repress their thoughts, emotions, and voice. Yes, they will have features, and partial mannerisms but they will have an opinion and a voice. Let them. Actually, Dr. Evil did Mini-Me a huge favor by rejecting him. I know it didn’t feel right at the moment. Dr. Evil, without thought, sliced Mini-Me away from him but in the end, Mini-Me discovered he was his own person and didn’t need Dr. Evil.

As harsh at it may be seizing your soul back from another soul is the best thing you can do for yourself. Discovering your thoughts, beliefs, mannerism, and voice is an exciting adventure that is priceless. Think about it two souls housed in one soul are multiple souls or personalities vying for top position. Eventually, one will reign supreme and you are forced to make the decision as to which one it will be.

We’re moving into February but by year’s end don’t you want to know the person in the mirror staring back? Take some time before the next blog and write down:

  • Several things that you learned from a parent or one in authority over you as a child that you no longer serves you.
  • Uncreate the contract with that character trait, word, belief, mannerism, opinion, ideology, and replace it with what YOU want.
  • Go back to the last blog and repeat the words to uncreate the contract with what you’ve written above or write your own. Empower yourself utilizing your own words.
  • Start your discovery journal of what you really think, believe, and say it aloud to hear your voice. It’s something about hearing the sound of your voice in your ears that makes this exercise real in reclaiming your soul.

God made you in His image. If you look around not one person looks like the other except identical twins and even they have differences. It’s time for your image to be known in the earth, your thoughts to be written, and voiced in the earth. It’s time for you to be present and accounted for, not mini-me, just me.

 I Am

Until next time remember that you are not alone and “Sweet sleep and angels keep!”

Want to know the 6 elements all children and adults needs then click the image and purchase: lana_web_book_cover


Listen to one of my favorite spoken word artists: Janette…ikz “I AM”

All images other than specified are: Getty Images (Royalty-Free)

Uncreate the Verbal Contracts

Uncreate the Verbal Contracts


Uncreate the Contracts


It’s time to delete the tape! It’s time to evict the people living inside your head, beliefs, emotions, and voice! It’s time to delete the memories in your cells! It’s time to tell those negative words, unseemly behaviors, and low-frequency thoughts to go! It’s time to uncreate the verbal contracts and break through your authentic self and life!

You were consistently verbally abused as a child and agreed to believe those words. I know you were a child and didn’t have the wherewithal to fight the words. You internalized this to mean, “You weren’t good enough.” But now you are at a crossroad in your adult life and choices must be made to uncreate the verbal contracts or stay aligned in agreement with the enemy of your soul. Are you ready?

Every word and statement, write down the person(s) name who said it. In another column write an I AM statement about you. For example, I AM INTELLIGENT, OR I AM CREATIVE. This may take a while so take breaks. You can do this in stages. It can be emotionally intense. Take your time. Write a few words and people for an hour a day and speak aloud the below declaration. Say aloud your new I AM affirmations daily too. Move in that vacant space your new beliefs hearing your own voice.

When you have completed as many as you can say aloud the following declaration with the Restorer of your soul!

 I renounce and denounce every word spoken to me that I’ve believed from a child. I am not these words and statements. I am a child of I AM! And I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am a divine being created in the image of I AM. I choose to speak I AM forth by rewriting my mental, emotional, and physical script with my voice and behavior.

For those who attacked me with their religion and co-signing God’s name to their abuse, I renounce their god of bondage and fear and choose to learn God for myself. I renounce and denounce the language of a slave and I speak the language of freedom! I am worthy. Period.

On this day ______________ I uncreate every verbal contract that I agreed to and by the great I AM I ask that it be destroyed and sent back to the sender. Amen

You will repeat this declaration as needed. You’ve existed in another persons reality for a long time and they don’t want to leave so easily. Those memories are in your cells and must be removed.

The next few techniques are excellent ways of clearing your cells. Take walks, being in nature clears your mind. Another practice is to take your hands and pat them, on the top of your thighs like you’re walking.  One last exercise is to fold your arms and take your hands and pat your arms like you are walking. It seems strange but that motion blocks negative mind chatter.

You are Removing, what no longer serves you and Restoring’ your authentic emotions, thoughts, and voice! This is a journey so take steps and read my friend Neil Vermillion’s blog. He has insight that will assist, affirm and order your steps daily.

In my next blog January 30, 2016, I will discuss “Forgiveness.” I may have a special guest blogger to walk you in forgiveness. This is her field of expertise. Meanwhile, enjoy Ms. Janet Jackson’s “Control.” We know WHO is really in control of our lives but “Self-Control” is a ‘Fruit of the Spirit’.  Until thenknow that you are not alone, sweet sleep, and angels keep. 

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-

To purchase my memoir just click the picture above! THANK YOU. And one last thing, would love to read your comments if my blogs are helping you and if it is “DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE & SHARE!” 

Break Through in 2016!

What Are You Accommodating?

familypixHi Phamily! I truly hope all is well in you and with you! Today I’m going to jump right in and ask you a question.


You are probably asking, “What is she talking about? Accommodating what?”

Well, last week I was looking at one of the most inspiring Life Coaches on the planet Iyanla Vanzant’s, “Fix My Life,” television show. She told a client that she was accommodating her dis-ease in which the manifestation was “obesity.” To give you a brief synopsis of the situation the client’s mother died several years ago and as a result parts of her laid down in the coffin with her too. Before that traumatic moment she was the life of the party. Inviting people over for barbecues or celebrations of b’earthday’s was her way of participating with her friend’s in life. She and her mom were extremely close. They were like sisters and the best of friends. You didn’t see one without the other at any time according to friends and family. The absence of her mother created a void in her life that no one or anything could replace. Keep reading what that void created.

emotional eating

One, physically, the manifestation as I mentioned before was “obesity.” She gained a mass of weight [600 lbs.] (EMOTIONAL EATING). Two, she slipped and fell going to the bathroom in her home. The fire department had to come, lift her up, and put her back in the bed. She was so embarrassed that she consciously decided to not leave the house (SHAME, GUILT, HURT, PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, ANGER, RAGE, EMBARRASSMENT). This resulted in a breach of not only being with friends but “making” her teenage child become her caretaker. She washed her mom, cleaned her mother’s personal needs in the bed (she couldn’t get up anymore to go to the bathroom), and brought her foods that were not healthy. Watching her mother’s decline physically, mentally, and emotionally seized this young lady’s teenage years, reversed the view of the roles in their relationship,  and abandonment of a mother in her life (ABANDONMENT OF SELF CARE, CHILD, & SELFISH). To accommodate her lifestyle all of her medications, toiletries, sterilized bed pads were placed within arm’s reach. Basically anything that she needed to accommodate her conscious based lifestyle was placed in the boundary of her arm span.

The word “accommodate” reverbrated over and over inside my stomach. I felt the ping or the energy of that word move in me and didn’t stop until it reached cellular level. I asked myself several questions:


  1. What familiar generational, cultural, or unserving religious belief system was I accommodating inside my temple, my soul, my mind?
  2. What emotional habit was I consciously or subconsciously making that was keeping me in an emotional, physical, mental, or economic rut?

Let’s go deeper shall we.

I even had to look at the time of the year I was making a major change in my life.

  1. Is it the same time of year every year and why the same time?
  2. What is significant about that time of the year?
  3. If I make this same goal at the same time of the year why am I sabotaging this goal?
  4. What am I afraid of? Why do I believe I’m not worthy of fulfilling my goal?
  5. What is on the other side of completing my goal that I think I can’t handle?

These are the questions that we all have to answer before we conquer our goals. This is a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” specifically Recognize and once truthfully answered Restore will greet you with the emotions, behaviors, ways, and means designed for you to utilize to complete your goals. Spiritually you will be given the innate strength, mental fortitude, and the entity Desire will fill your very soul (mind, emotions, body) to want to complete your goals.


You are not alone family. You have a legion of angels surrounding you to enforce and reinforce your new beliefs. It takes repetition for a belief to become a system and these angels are here to assist you. These angels are visible and invisible. Surround yourself with people that only have your good in mind. They Desire with you to see your goals accomplished. These people will have a “NO” in their mouths when it is needed but it will always be accompanied in the heart of LOVE! You will hear instructions and encouragement spoken to you first by your Creator and then reaffirmed by your earthly angels. By this I mean when I hear through the means of what my soul gravitates to (a book, movie, marquee sign, etc.) a friend in casual conversation will say something to reinforce or offer more of an explanation of what I’ve heard. Your Creator wants you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He hears your concerns, you matter, and you are on the right track.

This is my belief and you don’t have to believe in what I’m about to say but I believe in the unseen help and we do entertain angels unaware. I’ve had people to help me and I’ve never seen again. I believe in a force that is unearthly strong and they are working on your behalf when your strength wanes. I believe that any horrendous situation you’ve encountered could have been worse than that just because those angels held back what really wanted to kill you emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically. If you believe this then you have to ask yourself, “Who am I really to the Creator and what am I to do in the Earth that Evil wants to take me out?”

This question as you progress on your journey will be answered along the way. You will see yourself differently as the twin entities Recognize and Restore usher you into your new creation of authenticity as the sleeping giant in you is awakened and revealed.

Keep seeking, believing, and taking the necessary risk to reveal more of your emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, and economical authentic self.




I’ve posted the 2nd part of the “Remember My Story,” video! Hear how she accommodated the ‘Rejection,’ and ‘Abandonment,’ of her parental mother and little brother. And again, get out the tissue but really listen with the entity ‘Pay Attention’ to see the patterns of her emotions and behavior when trigger words or uncontrolled situations pushed her buttons. See if you can relate to her story. I know I did. 

Until next time know that you are not alone, sweet sleep, angels keep!



You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”lana_web_book_cover


How Do We Stop…

familylineage2Hey Phamily! I truly hope all is well with you and your journey in restoring your authentic self. It’s not just a destination but it’s the journey that reveals those parts of your emotional, mental, social, vocal, physical, and spiritual self that have been scattered to the nether parts of your soul. And believe me it is possible to be restored your authenticity in the aforementioned areas. Don’t worry about the time or the how because if you passionately, strongly and any other adjective that you use Desire to be Restored it will happen. I didn’t think it was possible because of my age but that excuse had to be thrown out asap. Why? Because your Desire, magnified to the nth degree, will far outweigh the number of your years on earth and the Divine will restore those lost years with what you missed plus more as a gift to you.

I see you giving me the side-eye…lol!  side eye

That’s okay. I gave the side-eye to the person that told me this too, especially when they were younger than me. But it’s true, I promise you it is. Your childhood adversity can be laid to rest. You just have to Desire it strongly enough and Believe that the Divine can do it. What helps is that you change your Perception of your life’s course. This will in turn change your Trajectory of your path to Restoration. And by the way this is still a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” Recognize. How have you viewed your life’s course up until this point? I know I viewed mine from the entity of Rejection’s perception. From my career choices, to friendships, to financial decisions, and social gatherings, I walked in knowing that I wouldn’t qualify for the higher paying positions, or, I feared in managing my monies. In friendships I knew they would eventually go sour and I would be the dysfunctional cause, and no man that I really liked would like me back. I think you get the picture. Rejection was my perception and my trajectory lined up with what I believed due to how it had been from a little girl. The pattern, I thought, was set and my life spelled out but something happened.

I began to meet people, read books, listen to songs, hear life coaches (remember these are the ways in which my soul authentically gravitates toward) speak another language on positive self-esteem, critical self-talk, anger, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, etc., and you know what I listened. The more they talked the more I listened and desired to be restored. Being healed far outweighed my pain and I wanted to do whatever it took to think with my thoughts, feel with my feelings, and speak unashamedly without seeing a hand hit me in my mouth in my mind’s eye.

prayingwoman1I prayed to God everyday and moment to help me be healed and more importantly open my eyes to see how He wanted me to assist. You know what I kept hearing? Believe. At first it pissed me off because I was like, is that all? It’s got to be more than that. But each time I asked the question my answer was the same. So, I asked Him to help me. I asked Him to open my eyes to see what He saw in me when He created me. I asked Him to make me Aware of my feelings, voice, and thoughts. I wanted to know me inside out. I asked for the entity of Paying Attention so I would know and could write down my thoughts, and know what my feelings felt like and I could hear how my voice really sounded in my ears. I was subconsciously waking up daily and quickly I might add to see this person that I thought I lost at the age of ten. And quite frankly I’m still getting to know me. It comes in stages. There were parts of me that were deeply imbedded in my soul that I didn’t want God to touch. The pain was to great and I wanted to hang on to my anger. I felt that I was justified in my anger and why not? They did it to me. You know who your they are. But it got to a point where I Recognized and was Aware that carrying those they’s were emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically weighing me down and affecting my health. My back hurt more than ever and I was being Tormented by past scenes, situations, and words almost minutely. I cried out to God to remove them from me. I believed He could remove them but I did have a part to play, and phamily, this is not easy but it is necessary. forgive3

Forgiveness as I’d learned was not the definition I grew into. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened to you but it does mean that the anger, rage, murder, blame, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, hate, of your abusers is seen from only, and I do mean only a Divine’s perspective and the intensity of your emotions in that traumatic moment is gone. Now, if there is another way then by all means let me know, but this the way I learned to forgive. The Divine, utilizing what I normally gravitated to books (fiction and non-fiction), positive speakers, dreams, visions, the supernatural if you will, showed me why my abusers behaved the way they did. He did not justify their actions toward me but He explained their behavior to me.

He explained it to me in several ways. The first way was He showed me in conversations I had with someone close to them who knew them as a child. They were eye witnesses to the ill actions that were heaped upon them by a parent or someone they knew in authority. Ten times out of ten your abuser was abused. But I must admit I asked the Divine, “If they were treated the same way then why treat me the exact same way?” The next way was the clincher. I was shown how I exhibited the same behavior only in a different mode. Let me explain. Pride. Yeah, let me talk about the big dogg I’ve had to wrestle with. You would think after all I’d been through that the entity Pride would be the last challenge I’d have but it was the first one and a big one. I was prideful in sneaky ways like if someone didn’t know something and I did I inwardly viewed them as dumb, or I know more than them. I’m going to shame the devil today by being transparent. My God knows all about it because I stand before Him naked and unashamed so…I will leave that there…lol!  Also, I thought that I knew the best way to manage your life when my life was in shambles…but I could tell you what YOU needed to do. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is…LOL! Yes, phamily the entity Pride is a monster and I rush to my God telling Him when it rears its head. So when I saw me as my abuser’s it was an humbling experience and forgiveness was my key to exit and leave that place of Righteous Anger of what they did to me. I too was an abuser and a Religious Bully at that. My memoir explains more about my religious upbringing. Now I don’t know if my abuser’s wanted to know why they behaved in such a manner or even realized that their behavior was abusive but I do know that God is an equal opportunity employer. I can’t answer for them but…

I forgave. Soul freed. Intense emotions from that abusive moment are gone. Forgiveness attained. Done. forgive4

When you see yourself as the abuser it puts a different spin on Forgiveness. Now I can talk about horrid past scenes without my emotions being involved. Or, as the young adults say, “I’m not caught up in my feelings.” I can see the situation from a Perception that is whole and healed and my Trajectory is changed because I’m Aware of my words, thoughts, and feelings and also how Pride can enter. Also, I do pray as led for those who abused me. Knowing what I know about them it is easier for me to assess their emotional terrain when a certain behavior comes on the scene. I do know how to protect myself as well. Just because I forgave them doesn’t mean I put myself in harm’s way. Wisdom phamily, Wisdom. 😉 And you do know that what you wrestle with will come back and try you again. It wants to see if the door is really closed and Forgivess is on guard.

Well, I have a TedTalks I want you to listen to. It’s located on the right side of your screen where normally I’d put a music video. But today I invite you to listen to Benjamin Perks and his talk on “How Do We Stop Childhood Adversity from Becoming a Life Sentence,” TEDxPodgorica. It is worth fifteen minutes to really listen to and view his film.

I promise you Forgiveness is just waiting on you to acknowledge how heavy your soul is carrying all those people, their words, behaviors, and abusive acts toward you around. Your mind, body, and emotions will thank you. Oh, one last thing. Co-workers, peers, and family are noticing how much weight I’ve lost. And I tell them, “Thank you. I’m getting those other people off and outta me.”

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.




You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”