“How I Loved Myself” is the prequel to “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection”, my memoir which is forthcoming in 2014. In this prequel I abstracted just a snapshot from my memoir to illustrate, as a child, how I was emotionally abused; severely rejected and traumatized. The first rejection was done by family. Words were used viciously to browbeat my authentic emotions to go to sleep in my soul. Expressing what I honestly felt or thought was severely discouraged by verbiage threat or physicality but the former was the more preferred method.
Simultaneously my religious affiliation and academia trek of those in authority followed suit. The latter two were arenas where I spent a great portion of my life being a victim, and from those horrid experiences, I learned their behavior to become what I detested. I expose the various ways of how I thought I honestly loved myself from a child until my forty’s.
I was desperately protecting the emotionally hurt and bruised child from emotionally bruised adults. It was not until the magical age of forty; I was fed up with my life as I knew it emotionally, spiritually, mentally, socially and physically. I knew I had to change – for real.