I hope this note finds everyone well and enjoying this spring weather soon to be summer. Here in Atlanta it hasn’t been that hot but I know we will have some of those days in a minute or so. Well, I know I haven’t written anything since February and I owe you a huge apology on several levels. One, I discovered some things about myself that admittedly I didn’t want to face, two, time. It felt like I never had enough time in the day to get things done (mis-management). And three, I was to embarrassed to share them with you. Yes, I am sitting in the corner and I’m giving you the “I’m sorry” stare. How can we talk if I’m not willing to share the most inner parts of my life, that quite frankly, I’m sure we all go through. So I am revamping my site, accepting all my stuff (you know I will say that word alot:-), being honest with myself, and most importantly with you guys. Forgive me, please? 🙁
Just to give you the rundown of what’s been happening and I will share more later. One, I am losing weight and it has been a helluva challenge for me. I’m an old school thinker of losing weight but my fifty-three year old body is saying, “Damn girl, you can’t do that aerobic s#&t like you used to.” So I’m having to regroup, and rethink how to lose weight for my temple in its present state. Now mind you I’ve lost 55 lbs. since last September!!! YAY!!! But I barely exercised, I just started cooking and laying off the fast food, or little to no food. Being told that anything I ate was going to make me fat, I HATED FOOD. I was AFRAID of food. This belief system had to go. I profusely apologized to my body of how I deprived it of nutrients that it needed from food. I starved her. Yes, starved her and still weighed in the two hundred plussssses! It can happen, trust me. I am mending my relationship with food and falling in love with her by cooking her for my temple to receive what she needs. FOOD NETWORK is my soap opera…lol!
I am doing YOGA!!! Yes, Yoga. I stretch forty-four minutes, four days out of the week. Don’t you dare laugh (it’s okay, I laugh at me too). My body needs that stretch to pop out the kinks. This is what you have to do when you don’t have a man…lol! Okay, I digress. Then I follow it by STRENGTH training, about twenty minutes. I have really fallen in love with resistance bands. They are the bomb. Better than a five pound weight in my hands. Then I do CARDIO on my elliptical machine. Now mind you I’ve had this machine since 2004. I see you laughin’ yo’ tail off and I deserve every snicker of it. This machine has sat in my den (when I had a home), storage space, and now living room in my apartment right beside the dinette table. I know it is in shock from seeing me climb on with my timer and do an intense twenty minute workout. And finally, I do CRUNCHES! I’m up to fifty crunches and I increase ten each week.
My weight has been my Achilles heel since I was ten years old. A belief system I breathed and believed in me regarding my weight that was yelled at me has lived in my psyche and cells far to long. I have used it as an excuse to stop living and exist on the periphery of life. I have a been a bystander and watched other people live and believed it was not for me – BULLSHIT!
I WANT TO RIDE THE ROLLERCOASTERS AT SIX FLAGS AND BUNGEE JUMPING!!!
This is the summer and really year of “TAKING BACK MY LIFE!”
My temple deserves to live out the rest of its life in excellent health in every way. I owe my temple from all those years of carrying unnecessary words (since the age of ten), other people’s stuff (their problem with their own weight and life choices), and physically not allowing anyone to help me lift heavy items (sometimes I had to when no one else was around/and afraid of men). So phamily I’m losing weight and weights of things that no longer serve me. Like “letting go” of old scenes, situations, and people by FORGIVING them and FORGETTING the emotions, the feelings of whatever offended me, and I them, too. It’s been a crawl pholk, but worth it. And lastly, I want to be married before I forget what it feels like to have a man in my life. I don’t want to be a spinster, an angry, embittered female who blames men for all her ills. That is so unfair to the brothers who are doing the right thing. But nor do I want to be with just any man to say I have one. No. I want to be with the man that God really created for me and I for him. So phamily this is just a tidbit of what is going on in my world. I haven’t even got to the economical belief system that needs to be thrown out and revamped. But I can tell you this it is also tied to my weight – go figure. I will have more to tell you in a little bit. I may put one more blog on here just to give you an update with pictures of me. We’ll see 😉
LASTLY, (for real)
I’m looking at how to make the site more interactive, fun, and inclusive. If you guys have any ideas please share them with me in the comments section. I’d appreciate any and all suggestions. And if you wanna be a guest blogger, by all means, introduce yourself by emailing me on the CONTACT page. I guess that’s it for now. I will see you when school starts in August. So for now everyone enjoy your summer, do something fun, and plunge into it with all of your being!
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