That was Yesterday

 

Living in the past and viewing the past is two totally different belief systems and behaviors. A scenario from a co-worker can best explain the distinction. The names have been altered.

Moon: I think I made a mistake.

River: What do you mean? What happened?

Moon: Well, I was going over my messages that I’ve sent over to the head office and I think that I put the wrong message on another’s client’s chart.

(Moon’s normal small eyes are huge like her name.)

River: Ok Moon, let me look at the case and see. I’ll come over to your desk.

(River gears up for the worst to access the damage. Outwardly she’s cool, inside she’s trying to find the road, she needs to navigate the situation and Moon. Moon retells the story and shows River on the computer what possibly could have passed for the mix-up. As River listens, she has visibly seen the process of why this happened. Moon completes her explanation. She looks to River to repair the situation. She looks for hope.)

River: Ok Moon. First of all, you just got here and you’re not going to know everything about this position. Second, it’s not that bad. Let me make a phone call and speak with my go-to person there so we can rectify this. In the meantime, I will add an addendum to the note you’ve sent.

(Moon’s face softens, and her shoulders relax – a bit. River madly writes the new note as Moon watches. River notices Moon’s mouth is made into an ‘o’. She’s breathing through her mouth.)

(River calls her contact. They discuss the messages and several options how this can be handled. They determine, as Moon intently watches River’s face and listens to half the telephone conversation. River hangs up.)

River: Ok Moon, this is how we decided to manage the messages.

Moon: Am I in trouble? Oh, my… I just got here…

River: Calm down Moon. You’re not in any trouble. You just got here, and we don’t expect for you to know everything. Errors will be cleared, but the good thing about this is, you will think of this moment and know what to do if this situation comes up again. Also, the client will be fine. It was merely a matter, ensuring the client’s actual message was fixed. So, it’s alright, really. Everything has been worked out for you.

Moon: Oh, thank you River. I really appreciate all your help.

River: You’re welcome, but let me ask you a question. What made you look back at your message?

Moon: I check them because I want to see if I made any mistakes and when I saw that I knew was not the message I had written for the correct person.

River: Well, it was a good thing that you went over the message. But all is well now so just be mindful of the names on the account. Just take your time, okay?

Moon: I will. But I could have sworn I wrote that message on the other account.

River: Well, it’s fine now.

(For River the situation is over, and she goes back to her work.)

Silence.

A couple of minutes later River looks up and sees Moon staring at the computer screen and holding her arm.

River: Moon, are you ok?

Moon: She turns around, “Yes, I am fine. We did all that we could, and I will watch the accounts to make sure I notate the correct one.”

River: You’re sure you’re all right?

Moon: Yes, that was yesterday. I’m good. I did all that I knew to do. I can do no more

When Moon made that statement about “that was yesterday” it touched me deeply. Here was a scenario that could have run amiss. The confusion could have potentially been distressing for the client. Moon listened to her intuition to check on her work, and she obeyed. She asked for help, nervously trusted the situation to someone whom she felt would make the best possible assessment and waited. She waited for an unknown outcome, hoping it would be favorable. I could see the questions forming in her mind from possible past similar experiences. Being a new employee would this be a blight on her new journey? Me telling her what the other voice she couldn’t hear on the phone say the solution worked in her favor. I saw her finally breathe a full breath and let it go. Moon allowed herself to feel and experience her emotions. She allowed them to pass through her and not keep them bottled up inside of her soul to create wounds. Her silence came not to keep rehashing the situation in her mind, but to allow peace, contentment and gratefulness to occupy the place where fear once resided. Her simple reply, “that was yesterday” is a person who was now viewing her past and living in the moment.

Gleaning from this hour scenario I sat at my desk and thought about past situations that I was still living in. I decided that when I got to my safe place, I’d write each one down. I did. I also decided that no matter where I’m at in the process I would say to each one, “that was yesterday.”

What are you going to say to the unpleasant childhood memories? Are you going to continue to live in the past or view them from the present with no toxic emotional attachment? Are you going to forgive all parties involved and that does include yourself? Are you going to finally accept you did what you thought was best at the moment, and the belief or behavior you used to protect you no longer serves you? Or are you going to allow yourself to finally say, “that was yesterday?”

Namaste’

Now We No!

Now We No!

 

Last month I started a discussion on ‘Health.’ It is called #HealthyistheNewS.E.X.Y. Just hover over the hashtag and read February’s blog for details. I want ‘Health’ to be viewed first before we look at the manifestations of what occurs if we’re not as healthy as we’d like to be. ‘Health’ deserves to have center stage and be sexy-as-she-wanna-be. I well-comed ‘Health’ with open arms, but I wasn’t ready for how it chose to come to me. What I will say is if ‘Health’ is your aim allow it to come as its origin – a person, place, or thing.

I was sent a video to watch and asked what my thoughts were about it. At first I wondered why am I watching this? ‘Health’ presented herself to me in a way that I’ve long since crossed over. I looked at the video again. I told ‘Health’ I’m no longer in that phase of my life. I even attended a live demonstration where another male presenter held the same product that I viewed before, doesn’t directly affect him, but it does affect any female in his life. And again, although amazed even more by this product, I still wondered why me? I noticed I kept squashing an inner voice telling me to pay attention. I answered, “I’ve passed this rite of passage.” It wasn’t until after a teleconference, attending an informational session of this product, another teleconference, and getting a good night’s sleep that I had no choice but to pay attention to the inner voice.

At the age of ten I started my menstrual cycle. It was presented to me in a way that I didn’t care about it. I saw it as an imposition. I was told about it by a mother who didn’t know how to explain it me, and a grandmother whose face looked like death warmed over. Her response was, “I was becoming a woman, it would come monthly, and I could get pregnant.” I had to wear a small version of a guillotine. Back in the day we had to wear an elastic thong that was held together by two metal clamps. This is what an elephant sized sanitary pad was attached to and a belt worn around my waist to hold it in place – not. Uncomfortable to say the least.

I didn’t have cramps as most of my girlfriends had during that time of the month. I went to school, bled profusely using three to four oversize pads a day. Mine was normal compared to other females who had to go home, lay down, and take Motrin by the bottles. I didn’t hate this moment I just didn’t connect with it. I looked at it as a function of the body, no more, no less. Even after I turned thirty when cramps, bloating, and emotions made up for lost time for not visiting me in my teens. They came in with a vengeance from my thirty’s until it ended quietly as it came in, in my late forty’s. I still did not connect with the “flow.”

Fast forward. ‘Health’ wanted me to reconnect to a moment that I barely gave notice to other than I bought pads, used pads, threw pads away, and started the process all over again for the duration of five days. I rejected an integral part of my femininity. A female being on her “flow” is to be celebrated, honored, and protected. From the first conversation, a little girl has with her mother to the end of her flow those three factors should be intimately involved in her life.

The presentation I viewed is called, “Cherish,” a sanitary napkin. But the movement I’m a part of is called “No We No”. No, that’s not a grammatical error. The reputation of this sanitary napkin is fused with protecting a woman’s female part, her honor, while celebrating her ‘flow’. This napkin even from its name, is changing the story for mothers to tell their daughters when they begin their ‘flow’. They feel confident in giving their daughters a product that will protect their femininity from fear. Fear of smell, and uninvited spots on the back of clothes and as you watch the video on the right side of the screen, fear from that too (fill in the blank… lol!)

As you watch the video allow ‘Health,’ to speak to you about your ‘flow.’ You may be surprised at what you hear. #NowWeNo #HealthyistheNewSexy

 

Healthy is the New S.E.X.Y.

journeyconnectBefore I begin, this blog it is not to put down anyone’s weight loss program or dietary regimen. This blog is not solely about physical weight or diet. It’s about focusing our attention and listening to what “health” and being emotionally and mentally healthy has to sound out. This is a movement to bring “Healthy” back to center stage.

Today, more than ever in our present climate, we necessitate taking charge of our inner house – thoughts and emotions. With social media feeds swiftly reporting the political and social contentions it’s easy to get overwhelmed, discouraged, and pressed down. Hearing and reading these feeds excessively will breed presupposed fears and behaviors that lead to desperate actions. This induces the physical body and brain to work in a ceaseless state of injury. Runaway thoughts will torment your mind while your emotions are roller coasting all over the place.  These extreme changes will manifest in illness and dis-ease.

focus2My mission in this hour is to pay attention and centering on being healthy emotionally and mentally. We totally need a safe space to vent our concerns and promote one another. Whether you’re single, married, have children or not, employed, unemployed, or self-employed we all call for encouragement. Communication is more than just language. It’s listening, viewing, really hearing and reading between the lines what someone is saying or not saying.

I am asking that you look and listen to your family, those in your work environment, friends, significant others and really pay attention to them.  Write, text, or email them a note to encourage and brighten their day.  I started this at my place of employment with some of the ladies that I work with. It has really got off and is positively affecting their day.

boygirltagI enjoy games. Recall the game “IT”? Where you hit someone while running and yell “You’re it!” Well, I took the premise of this childhood game and updated it to fit our current way of communication and connecting. I.T. is an acronym for “Infinite’s Tiara” which means you’re “God’s Crown” and S.E.X.Y means “Souls. E.volving. X.periencing. Y.ou.” Your soul is ever-changing to higher states of living, thinking, and being.

All you have to do is send someone an encouraging word by text, email, or a handwritten note. It doesn’t matter if they are passing through a trying moment or in a good head space right now. To recognize that somebody is paying attention to you just feels good. Kind words can be stored up in your psyche for those days when you’re not in a secure place.

Here is an example, “Your I.T., the Infinite’s Tiara: I know you have a lot on your plate right now. With a sick parent, planning a wedding, and more job duties, wearing these many hats is tremendous pressure on you.  When all you really want is to just be you and left alone for a few minutes to breathe.  This weekend, take some time and steal away to a tranquil spot.  Even if you have to drive I-285 and scream to release the weight of your responsibilities off  and out of your body- do so.  Your mind, body and soul will thank you and bring you a gift – a new perspective.” #HealthyistheNewSEXY. Remember to place a hashtag before Healthy is the New S.E.XY. So it will be written #HealthyistheNewSEXY.  This is the tag line of the movement.

woman with diaryI have so much on my plate that I am reducing my blog to bi-monthly. The next blog is April 5th. In the meantime #hashtag people in your life an encouraging word and let their endorphins bring a smile to their soul. Lastly, enjoy a man and a song that can make anyone feel good – Sylvester and 2 Tons of Fun!

You’re I.T. The Infinite’s Tiara: Go out and dance those blues away! #HealthyistheNewSEXY

Namaste’

“You cannot die unless you connect with someone.” God-Eater