Breakthrough Series 2016

Breakthrough Series 2016

 

Breakthrough Series 2016
Breakthrough Series 2016

Hey, Phamily!

I hope all is well with you and those you love! We’ve now experienced the first week of the new year. Was it a good week? I hope it was. Mine has been a culmination of emotions, situations, cleansings, and expansions but, all in all, they have been needed. Change, Removal, Restoral, Transformations, Elevations are all a part of breakthroughs. Be ye physical, emotional, mental, or in your soul, they all come with their own unique manifestations and mechanisms for us to be more authentic in mind, body and soul.

Well, on to what I’ve been revealing on my new Facebook page, “Author Lana M Hooks.” Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I post vignette’s of “Breakthroughs” that I want to happen in the near future. So I write them down as if they’ve already occurred. It’s my way of acknowledging my growth, my expansion into new areas of my life, my emotions healed and living my dreams. We need to know that we won’t be the same person tomorrow if we do the work needed now to change. I honestly believe if we remember, recognize, remove, and restore our authentic emotions, thoughts, and voice we will live our lives authentically and our dreams will manifest themselves.

I know some people may not be Facebook users or just taking a break and I didn’t want you to miss out on the vignette’s I posted this week. I am posting them all today in my blog and would love to hear back from you some of your “Breakthroughs” that you’d like to have happened in your life. This does not replace my bi-weekly blog this is in addition to it that I will post beginning next week on the same days I post on Facebook. I just don’t want you to miss out on you being a part of the #Breakthroughseries2016! I have friends who’ll be assisting you in your breakthroughs! Read my friend Neil Vermillion’s blog. He gives divine insight to propel you along further on your journey!

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Please join me in sharing your “breakthrough” vignette’s by leaving them in the comment section. The more we write our dreams down and read them on days when it may not necessarily be going so well I believe they will lift up our spirits to keep pressing and don’t give up! Okay, Phamily, see you next Saturday with “Uncreating Contracts.” Have an excellent and breakthrough week!

Namaste’

Remember you are not alone! And sweet sleep and angels keep!

It’s The Simple Things!

Remember the game Tag? I know it’s a child’s game but sometimes it’s the simple things that bring the most clarity to an adult child situation, yeah, an adult child. When you’ve been emotionally traumatized as a child that moment in time is frozen in your mind, cells, and behavior. You learned how to behave in that abusive environment to survive, but unfortunately those techniques followed you into adulthood. Also, that emotionally charged situation left a wound in your soul that you exist from on a daily basis. Dr. Janet Woititz, psychologist, that worked with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) stated, “…most adult children have in common a set of dysfunctional ways of behaving which interfere with (or simply take the joy out of), daily living…leftovers from something missed along the way in growing up- and to develop more effective ways of living.”[i]  She adds it doesn’t matter how you got there, meaning, rejection, abandonment, molestation or any other emotionally abusive manner. What matters is you are here at this point and age and not living your life.

So today we are going back to our ‘Playground’ and play Tag. The Four R’s On Your Journey are Remember, Recognize, Remove, and Restore. Today we will discuss the first two, Remember and Recognize. In my memoir, “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection,” I talk about places where I felt safe, free, and my weight didn’t matter. The playground was that place for me at school. It’s important you are safe as we journey back to some places that will ignite emotions that have either been deeply buried in your soul or you feel them on a daily basis. If you don’t remember a safe place you have the awesome task of choosing your present day safe place – your playground.

  1. Remember.  Return to your ‘Playground’, your safe place.

Your playground is a time and a place of your choosing that you will be protected and not disturbed. You can sit with a glass of your favorite beverage with pen, pencil, paper, IPad, Kindle, laptop, etc., to write down your intimate thoughts. No one will be there except your Creator, and personal angels to ensure your privacy and safety from things seen and unseen.

 

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TAG

I’M IT: For the last couple of weeks I’ve been talking about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Basically, in relation to how a traumatic past or past-present event, either from your childhood or later has the power to guide and effect your current emotions and behavior. It is possible to believe a demeaning statement that was never your reality but your abusers wounded world. For example…

I’m restructuring my nutritional intake, exercising, and on the grind rebuilding and discovering streams of income. It’s a lot, but more importantly, it is pulling up past abusive scenes, faces, and words of moments regarding relationships (family, peers, religious), weight, abilities to learn, and money (poverty beliefs).

At the end of June I had an emotional breakup. Yes, an emotional breakup with what “they” said. I’ve said probably a million times before that I wasn’t what “they” said about me but I didn’t believe a word of what came out of my mouth.  I couldn’t see the other side of ‘their’ hurtful words. I lived in my mind where the entity Torment daily did its job. Those dysfunctional childhood situations, people, and words played over and over in my mind as if they were literally here, with me, in present mode. I lived each and every day with a stress level that was slowly killing me. I walked, talked, and thought in Torment’s world of bondage and fear.

*As a side note you will see me refer to emotions whether negative or positive as entities. Words have power and yes, I do believe that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Try this test. Say aloud the word ‘beautiful.’ How does it make you feel? What part of the body do you feel the energy of that word? Now say aloud the word ‘ugly.’ How does it make you feel and what part of the body is the energy flowing from? I believe words carry the energy of their definition. Depending on the word and the intent of the person it searches for a wounded soul or a welcomed soul to inhabit. They enter in one’s body by another body saying words that are carried by their breath. *

Belief in a word, a statement, a person in anything can either bring life or death. I treaded in death’s hallway even though I spoke life giving words. I even strongly encouraged others with those same words. But to me, they were just words. My beliefs in the esteem damaging words were stronger than my belief in life-giving words.

I wanted Torment to stop. Even though heart issues, like weight loss, from childhood were being answered by the Divine the critical self-talk and scenes from yesteryear were killing me. In my memoir I tell the story of why it means so much to me that my Creator would answer an eight year old little girl’s prayer forty-five years later. But I knew this madness had to stop. I had to make it stop. So I made up in my mind that day, screaming at the top of my lungs, crying and looking like a raccoon, to the Divine and the Council of Heaven that I was not going to accept my abusers talk anymore and I needed their help! With snot running out of my nose and down my lips I declared to heaven, earth, and all the negative entities that I wasn’t going to talk to “me” that wounded way anymore. I was double dogg damned tired. My Creator knew this time I meant every word and He heard me, as I’m sure the negative entities did too, but I didn’t care. My answers and help were waiting on me to just get tired as yours are waiting on you, I’m sure.

I’ve been talking about weight loss but rest assured you can apply this practice to whatever was used to traumatize you. The entity used to traumatize me was Rejection. If you are diligently losing weight and your self-talk is still the same, you will gain the weight back. I promise you will. But first, let’s identify the unlimited various ways in which the Universe can assist you in answering your questions.  I will share with you mine as an example.

1. FAMILIAR & PRACTICAL: I’m a reader. My soul gravitates to books on psychology, spirituality, soul, and consciousness. I think you get the picture. So when I’m seeking to be healed in my emotions or questions answered the Master of all scribes sends me the answer to what He knows that will peak my interest. Thus, the above stated avenues. The written word is not my only link, just like you, we all have hobbies or interest like movies, etc., and that we just love to do or view. There is no explanation why other than it brings us a peace in our soul (mind, body, emotions).  In other words it’s fulfilling and that’s why the Creator uses what you naturally acclimate to.

 

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TAG

YOU’RE IT: Take a minute phamily and think about your hobbies or interests. What do you like to do without thinking about it? Are you a reader of romance, paranormal, or biographies? Do you play sports, jog, walk, paint, knit, writer, or a diy’er? When your body and mind is in fun motion do ideas come to you quicker than you are moving? How does doing the things you like make your body feel? Even if you don’t know what you like, what would you like to venture out and do? Whatever is the first thing that comes to mind just…

WRITE THOSE DOWN!    laptopdrink

 

TAG

I’M IT: RECOGNIZE: This is the second of ‘The Four R’s on Your Journey. Explore the various ways you’ve operated to survive. ‘Pay Attention’ and be ‘Aware’ of your thoughts, words, and behaviors. Learn the frequency by which your soul speaks.

Now that you’ve written down your familiar and practical avenues let’s continue. What is the traumatic event, like a New York turnstile, continuously playing over and over in your head? No matter where you are at, with people, or by yourself, the scenes from that moment reverberate in your soul. For me it was the scene of learning how to ride a bike and I was told because I was fat I couldn’t learn. I know it sounds crazy but that scene coupled with the words, looks, and behaviors of key players set the stage for all my male/female/authoritative relationships, job choices, and trying new things, and it greatly affected how I felt about my weight going forward. The belief system I learned from my abuser’s was birthed from not learning how to ride a bike.

1. I believed I couldn’t learn anything without someone being there to hold onto for security.

2. I believed that close family members would not protect me. In fact they verbally and sometimes physically abused me in front of my peers and other authority figures or remained silent and did nothing. I knew by the age of ten adult figures in my family would not protect me. I tell stories in my book of how the more I was rejected by those who supposedly loved me I became invisible and buried my voice.

3. I believed that other female peers would either not look at me due to the entity Shame or Pity and would join in with the adult figures of my family and verbally abuse me. Guys that I liked would look away from me due to the entity Embarrassment or Pity. They bowed to peer pressure for fear of being ridiculed of liking a fat girl. I knew by the age of eight nice looking guys would not want to be with me unless under the guise of darkness because I was fat.

4. I believed that I couldn’t verbally hurt people back because I didn’t want them to feel that kind of hurt and more so I was afraid of being physically hit. Before I decided to not fight back I tried to verbally defend myself. I was met with a hit to my mouth by the adult or, in their rage, would scream and verbally berate me in front of my peers and other adults. The cost of the entities Embarrassment, Shame, and Pain was too high to pay. So I remained quiet.

5. I believed that the only place I could live freely was in my imagination, sexual fantasies and thoughts, in essence, in my head. My thoughts and words were not good enough to express openly. Since I was physically compared to my peers I imitated their personality, physical expressions, even how they spoke. I committed “identity theft” which done excessively becomes ‘multiple personality disorder.’ My thoughts, voice, and personality went to sleep deep inside my soul.

In a more simplified form this was my belief system.

  1. Afraid to learn new things because I thought I was the entity Dumb.
  2. Not good enough to be a friend with females, or be with a nice looking guy because I was fat, or voice my thoughts.
  3. No one will protect me especially family.
  4. Fear of authority figures (God & man). Those that claimed they were His children became bullies and physically abusive when you challenged them. So I thought since they were His children He sanctioned their behavior towards me which, in my mind, made Him a bully too.
  5. Afraid of being hit or verbally abused by females and males (adults and peers) if I disagreed with what they said or told me what to do.

I believed that I was a bad seed and unworthy to be loved by God or man. This belief system followed me well into my adult years all because I didn’t learn how to ride a bike. Wow! Like I said I know this sounds, well, crazy, but it’s true. It wasn’t just this one time but it was the initial seed planted in me. The scenes and people changed but the pattern of how I was treated by family and peers consistently was based on the initial seed until the age of ten. At that age and a kick to my leg the belief systems were solidified in my soul. Emotional Abuse is as real as Physical Abuse. In fact, both are equally as harmful. It just depends on which one will be predominantly used against you. But both will be present no matter which one is used more than the other. If this sounds like you…

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YOU’RE IT: Write down your memory or memories and see what belief system you’ve accepted as yours to survive. This may take some time so we will resume week after next, August 15th, with another blog post. But feel free to view past blog post at lanamhooks.com and read other articles on why I began to discuss PTSD.

I’m celebrating three wonderful birthday’s coming up in a matter of days. And I want to be fully present with them as they celebrate another glorious year of their marvelous lives!

Until we meet again the entity Pay Attention and Aware wants to show you other avenues or ways that you naturally gravitate to without thought that give you messages or answers to your questions. This is fun because you may not have been aware of these at all. Just be open with the entity Pay Attention and Aware and allow energy of the definition to do its work and watch what happens. And don’t forget to

WRITE THEM DOWN!

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That will be a part of your quest for next time as well!

 

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I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU

Leave a comment and let me know if what I’m writing is helping you face some traumatic memories and to finally leave that place to feel, think, speak, and live your authentic life. Also let me know your thoughts about having HANGOUTS in the near future with guest who will not only share their journeys as well but give words of wisdom to conquer the trauma!

ENJOY FREEBIES!

    To your right SIGN-UP as a SUBSCRIBER! I have a FREE GIFT awaiting you below!!! Also there will be other FREEBIES coming REAL SOON as well!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

 I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

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WE ARE PHAMILY

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

 

THANK YOU

Until we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

Lana M Hooks

FREEBIE DOWNLOAD!

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Authenticity Rocks Reader Magnet for Dirty Breath1

 *****THE SONG FOR THIS BLOG WAS MY FAVORITE BACK IN THE DAY! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TAG BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT THE PLAYGROUND. I ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IT WAS A FUN SONG THAT EVEN CHILDREN AND ADULTS DANCED TO! ****  ENJOY!!!


[i] Dr. Janet Woititz, Adult Child Characteristics: Alcoholic & Dysfunctional Families, http://www.cyberus.ca/~rocksoft/teddysrule/chars/charactr.html

 

Accept It But You Don’t Have to Own It

Accept It But You Don’t Have to Own It

Ok Phamily, last I shared I wanted to be more open about my emotional awareness journey. Well, being aware and mindful about my behavioral reactions to situations have led me to accept a sickness, but not own it, it is PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  Honestly, those who have been through any perilous situation have PTSD to some degree.  I’ve been reading about our veteran’s who serve the country and come back with this disorder because of how they’ve had to survive from lack of sleep, being gun ready to shoot, having shot a child or an adult first for fear of their lives being taken, patrolling territories that are bombed constantly, etc., I mean the list is endless. After reading the symptoms over and over again, as well as being told by a dear friend that when certain trigger words are said to me, I react in the same manner as a veteran challenged by PTSD. I concur.

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If you’ve been through any consistent traumatic settings that are volatile from your childhood to young adult you have been in a war. Surviving in a home that was verbally or physically abusive will keep you on edge and constantly wondering when the next bomb is going to go off. You learn a different language altogether suffocating your authentic voice. It is imperative to find the exact words to keep your abuser at bay. You tiptoe around the home like a church mouse to throw off your location so your abuser can’t find you.  Change in the home is dynamic in nature. Situations are always occuring that after a while are predictable in form to know what the outcome will be. Preparation for an event is rare because the mood of an abuser is unpredictable. Trying to guage an attack is fifty-fifty at best. You want to have control over an incoming explosion, but really you feel out of control, especially if you are a child living in an emotionally unstable hazardous environment.

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At work today I was notarizing a lady’s document and she began to tell me about her relationship with her mother who transitioned in 2014. Listening to her she made several statements that reminded me of my childhood. For a minute I felt that I was looking at me talking about how verbally abusive my home was growing up. But what came next out of her 60ish mouth was this, “My mother never told me that she loved me. It was not until the day before she died that she told me that I was right. She finally admitted that she had never said those words to me.” She watched and heard her mother praise all of her friends but for her it was shame and ridicule. All she wanted from her mother was acceptance, but instead she greatly feared her mother because of her verbal whip that lashed out at her and said, “you aren’t good enough.”I sat there listening to her but in my head it was replay of me and my mother a week before she transitioned in 2007. Isn’t it amazing that so many years later, no matter the age, that what was not spoken or shown can possibly affect an adult in her relationships with herself, children, and others.

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If what I’ve said has resonated in you like Big Ben the clock then you may have PTSD. Now to what degree only you can define that measure. And I will add don’t be afraid to seek help, you only have two modes you operate from in a traumatic situation, survival, or, you revert back to sucking your thumb. You need someone who doesn’t know you, like your friends (it’s a lot for them to digest and more than likely they have their own issues as well), who can give you options, choices, and another unbiased perspective. These are the very things you didn’t have as a child and you grew up as an adult/child with the same belief system. I’m saying these things because I’m right here with you. I’m not telling you anything that I am not going through myself.

Isn’t it amazing how mature you can behave in one area of your life but in another you need a pamper. Traumatic events leave traces of those same exact emotions and feelings in your mind and cells. Your body literally is held hostage or frozen in time when you encounter a similar situation as an adult. It’s like you’ve never left that scene. Different people but same sh#t. We forget or sometimes don’t know that really, we are adults now. I know for me I don’t know that I’m an adult in certain situations, like when I have to confront someone who is extremely aggressive or a bully. This is my hurdle to overcome. But the truth is we are all battling something. So the question becomes what are we going to do besides seek outside help?

iRestYoga

Well, I have a few suggestions. I came across a yoga program for the veterans called iRest Yoga. You can go on YouTube and type it in and several video’s will pull up with the practice, as well a,s Dr. Richard Miller of Integrative Medicine who created the program. In my last blog I talked about falling in love with Yoga and how it has helped my body begin to heal and nerves unwind from Sciatica. It is wonderful. Now I am adding to the list iRest Yoga to see if it helps me sleep better and release stress. Try it! If it doesn’t work then seek Divine help to see what is your “thing” that can help you not just deal with trauma and stress but let it go. I believe it can leave it just may take some time. Like I said in the beginning I accept PTSD but I don’t own it. It was never mine in the first place. It was placed upon me like it was upon you. And you can send back that energy to the sender anytime of the day. I have a mantra that I say each time I feel the need to. It goes like this:

Father, this day I reclaim my energy from all past and present relationships, family, culture; their words, behaviors, and looks from those that I misappropriated my ignorantly taught, misaligned perceptions and beliefs about relationships, family, culture, religious and educational affiliations, and business and social connections! This day I choose to own MY energy!

My wall in front of my bed is my “Inspiration Wall,” (see picture below, apologize for the size). These sayings are the first thing I see when I wake up. I say them even if I don’t feel it. That’s when I say them with more passon and fervor. I have scriptures, pictures, covenants, and art work, “Psalms 23.” God is carrying the lamb on His shoulders with hands afixed around his hoofs. The lamb is looking at Him assured that he is protected by the Great Shepherd. I add to it as needed when a quote touches me in my soul. I have one from “Pretty Little Liars,” or one of my anime shows, “Soul Eater – Not!” Wisdom knows no bounds. (Don’t judge 😉

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iRest is just a suggestion that I will see if it helps as well. I hope it does. Remember healing is always available just maybe not in the way we’d like it to be like – NOW! But it is available and just because you are diagnosed with a sickness or disease doesn’t mean you have to own it. I choose to find the real culprit of the malady. This is just a question I’m throwing out to you phamily.  Have you ever wondered how is it that someone can either go through what you went through or even worse but emotionally, seemingly, they are not damaged? In fact they are confident, kind, assertive, yet humble. All I know is I WANT WHAT THEY’RE DRINKING…LOL!

But this was just one of those da-m-rn days that I wanted to share with you and I hope it helped you in some way. If it did please subscribe to my blog and tell a friend. We are all on this journey together living, learning, and sharing. Please share with me “things” you do to release the stress and trauma of yesteryear or day. I would love to know in the comments!

I am worth it

Namaste’

Lana (Lah-nuh or Lan-nuh, just not Line-nuh 🙂