Mini or Me?

Mini or Me?

MiniorMe-

I’m sure you’ve seen the Austin Power movies with Dr. Evil and his sidekick Mini-Me who mimics him. Watching a marathon of these movies, I can’t remember which one, Dr. Evil’s biological son returns home and Mini-Me gets jealous. In his mind, he’s been the faithful son for a long time and now he’s being replaced. He desperately tries to regain his position with Dr. Evil but he rejects Mini-Me’s attempts at mimicking him. What once made Dr. Evil so happy is now a turn off to him since his biological son has returned.

fatherdaughterskyI thought of how children try their hardest to impress their parents especially first born children. Parenting does not come with a rule book, or a set of instructions to teach you how to raise a child. So what do most parents do? They raise their child like how they were raised. Teaching them the same way as they were taught but not giving a thought at times that not everything they learned was necessarily all good. Parents pass down character traits, beliefs, mannerisms, opinions, ideologies, likes, dislikes, and even colloquial terms that first born children pick up quickly.

motherdaughtercookingMy last blog talked about uncreating verbal contracts that we make on a daily basis consciously or subconsciously with words. Before I go any further let me be very clear again not everything taught by parents were in error or removed you away from your authentic self. For instance, my mother’s love of reading, writing, and the English language is my love too. That’s a good thing. But her fear of people and evading conflict was not a good thing and I picked that up as well. You see where I’m going with this. Her books became her escapism to not face harsh realities. And as much as I saw that and disliked it I too did the same thing. It’s not easy tearing away the parts of you that were consummated from a parent. Your emotions are torn in half because you are divorcing yourself from their wounded soul to reclaim your true identity, emotions, thoughts, and voice. It feels like a betrayal. You’ve been a mini-me image living in their world for so long that now that you want to reclaim your authentic self but it feels like abandonment. And to be honest with you, you are abandoning certain traits that were never you in the first place. It’s okay.

motherdaughtersittingThis is an identity contract that you must uncreate. Children no matter the birth order are born with their own unique personality. It’s not fair to their psyche or the Creator to repress their thoughts, emotions, and voice. Yes, they will have features, and partial mannerisms but they will have an opinion and a voice. Let them. Actually, Dr. Evil did Mini-Me a huge favor by rejecting him. I know it didn’t feel right at the moment. Dr. Evil, without thought, sliced Mini-Me away from him but in the end, Mini-Me discovered he was his own person and didn’t need Dr. Evil.

As harsh at it may be seizing your soul back from another soul is the best thing you can do for yourself. Discovering your thoughts, beliefs, mannerism, and voice is an exciting adventure that is priceless. Think about it two souls housed in one soul are multiple souls or personalities vying for top position. Eventually, one will reign supreme and you are forced to make the decision as to which one it will be.

We’re moving into February but by year’s end don’t you want to know the person in the mirror staring back? Take some time before the next blog and write down:

  • Several things that you learned from a parent or one in authority over you as a child that you no longer serves you.
  • Uncreate the contract with that character trait, word, belief, mannerism, opinion, ideology, and replace it with what YOU want.
  • Go back to the last blog and repeat the words to uncreate the contract with what you’ve written above or write your own. Empower yourself utilizing your own words.
  • Start your discovery journal of what you really think, believe, and say it aloud to hear your voice. It’s something about hearing the sound of your voice in your ears that makes this exercise real in reclaiming your soul.

God made you in His image. If you look around not one person looks like the other except identical twins and even they have differences. It’s time for your image to be known in the earth, your thoughts to be written, and voiced in the earth. It’s time for you to be present and accounted for, not mini-me, just me.

 I Am

Until next time remember that you are not alone and “Sweet sleep and angels keep!”

Want to know the 6 elements all children and adults needs then click the image and purchase: lana_web_book_cover

THANK YOU!

Listen to one of my favorite spoken word artists: Janette…ikz “I AM”

All images other than specified are: Getty Images (Royalty-Free)

Uncreate the Verbal Contracts

Uncreate the Verbal Contracts

 

Uncreate the Contracts

 

It’s time to delete the tape! It’s time to evict the people living inside your head, beliefs, emotions, and voice! It’s time to delete the memories in your cells! It’s time to tell those negative words, unseemly behaviors, and low-frequency thoughts to go! It’s time to uncreate the verbal contracts and break through your authentic self and life!

You were consistently verbally abused as a child and agreed to believe those words. I know you were a child and didn’t have the wherewithal to fight the words. You internalized this to mean, “You weren’t good enough.” But now you are at a crossroad in your adult life and choices must be made to uncreate the verbal contracts or stay aligned in agreement with the enemy of your soul. Are you ready?

Every word and statement, write down the person(s) name who said it. In another column write an I AM statement about you. For example, I AM INTELLIGENT, OR I AM CREATIVE. This may take a while so take breaks. You can do this in stages. It can be emotionally intense. Take your time. Write a few words and people for an hour a day and speak aloud the below declaration. Say aloud your new I AM affirmations daily too. Move in that vacant space your new beliefs hearing your own voice.

When you have completed as many as you can say aloud the following declaration with the Restorer of your soul!

 I renounce and denounce every word spoken to me that I’ve believed from a child. I am not these words and statements. I am a child of I AM! And I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am a divine being created in the image of I AM. I choose to speak I AM forth by rewriting my mental, emotional, and physical script with my voice and behavior.

For those who attacked me with their religion and co-signing God’s name to their abuse, I renounce their god of bondage and fear and choose to learn God for myself. I renounce and denounce the language of a slave and I speak the language of freedom! I am worthy. Period.

On this day ______________ I uncreate every verbal contract that I agreed to and by the great I AM I ask that it be destroyed and sent back to the sender. Amen

You will repeat this declaration as needed. You’ve existed in another persons reality for a long time and they don’t want to leave so easily. Those memories are in your cells and must be removed.

The next few techniques are excellent ways of clearing your cells. Take walks, being in nature clears your mind. Another practice is to take your hands and pat them, on the top of your thighs like you’re walking.  One last exercise is to fold your arms and take your hands and pat your arms like you are walking. It seems strange but that motion blocks negative mind chatter.

You are Removing, what no longer serves you and Restoring’ your authentic emotions, thoughts, and voice! This is a journey so take steps and read my friend Neil Vermillion’s blog. He has insight that will assist, affirm and order your steps daily.

In my next blog January 30, 2016, I will discuss “Forgiveness.” I may have a special guest blogger to walk you in forgiveness. This is her field of expertise. Meanwhile, enjoy Ms. Janet Jackson’s “Control.” We know WHO is really in control of our lives but “Self-Control” is a ‘Fruit of the Spirit’.  Until thenknow that you are not alone, sweet sleep, and angels keep. 

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-

To purchase my memoir just click the picture above! THANK YOU. And one last thing, would love to read your comments if my blogs are helping you and if it is “DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE & SHARE!” 

Break Through in 2016!

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Breakthrough and Miracles 2016 – Don’t Betray Yourself

Now Playing-Breakthrough 2016!-

Its 2016 Phamily! Im grateful and excited! This is the year of Breakthroughs, Miracles and much more!

Lets define breakthrough. The English thesaurus says, Advance, innovation, invention, revolution, discovery, development, step forward, leap forward, and new idea. YOUR breakthroughs will be big, small, and unusual. Just pay attention.

Add heading (2)Dont betray yourself. Examine patterns of sabotage. How many times have you arrived at a breakthrough and then BAM! Your moment is shut down. Undermining entities such as disappointments and low self-confidence lull your soul asleep to not notice patterns. Lets analyze the effects of undermining entities. What were your emotions and inner talk?  The people that you once assisted did they reciprocate? Were you operating in confidence or apologetically? Were you subconsciously looking at past failures and comparing them to the present moment? Do you see what Im getting at?

WAKE UP CALL. The good thing is patterns never change their modus operandi. Each time your moment was usurped, you had your pity party, got back up and tried again. Resiliency. It strengthened areas that demand a time out to recognize, dissect, and assess, specific behavior, thoughts, and actions. This needful process awakens awareness and challenges you to view your decisions from an aerial vantage point. But more importantly, it forces you to be a vigilant watchdog of your emotions, thoughts, behavior, and who is steering them. In my next blog on 1/9/16, Ill discuss what and how to Uncreate Contracts, a construct of sabotage.

This is our year of breakthroughs, miracles, new doors, opportunities of Gods promises. Lets do this!

On my Facebook page, Author Lana M Hooks, I am posting twice weekly a breakthrough that will happen. Join me and write your breakthrough in the post comment section. Our breakthroughs are real and they will come to pass.

I’m so glad to present to many and introduce to other’s Neil Vermillion. If you haven’t read any of his blogs by all means do so! I guarantee you he can assist you with words of wisdom and insight to reach your breakthroughs! Please check out Neil Vermillion at Daily Prophetic Word. Thank you, Neil, for adopting me into your family! 

Breakthroughs & Miracles; Create Your Experience, Manifest Your Promise!

Please SUBSCRIBE & SHARE on my blog, and

LIKE my Author Lana M Hooks Facebook page, also

FOLLOW me, lmhooks on Twitter, and lastly,

FOLLOW me, lmhooks51, on Instagram.

Thank you!

And as always you are not alone! Sweet sleep and angels keep!

When you look in the mirror do you know the person looking back-

Credit

Images – Getty Images

Book Cover – Ariana Rivera, “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection”; Kelle Hines: Studio 414 Portraits, Inc., “How I Loved Myself”

Graphics – Lana M Hooks/Canva

Quote – Humatora, Anime

http://www.neilvermillion.com/blog/

My Halloween Story

upside down

For the last fifteen years my life has been turned upside down financially, spiritually, socially, physically, combined with the transitioning of family members. I’ve cried, screamed, distanced myself, smiled, attached, forgave, and acquired new belief systems, while old ones weren’t going without a fight. To be more specific, financially, I have been in a place of learning that money is a tool to be utilized to give, build up, be a blessing, to restore dreams and prolong life. I’ve had the entity called Pride knocked outta of me to ask for help, learned how to separate my wants from my needs, and God can do more with less. But the greatest lesson was to learn that God is the supplier of all my needs, wants and desires. Places of employment are the means of earning a paycheck, meeting new people, and learning new skills but again it is not my supplier. Even though I’ve learned this lesson the Universe never stopped downloading dreams and goals that I strongly wanted to perform in the earth. A major part of my personality is that I’m goal oriented. I eagerly worked on those dreams and goals which started off wonderfully but ended up either fizzling out or floating on a buoy.

 I’ve lived a certain way and with that comes a mindset due to circumstances of “well, I guess it’s going to be this way.”  The promises made from the Universe still remained dreams and not manifestations. And it didn’t matter how many people known and unknown were sent my way to keep the dreams alive the disappointments of them not coming into fruition produced a hope deferred. Whether I consciously said it aloud or as a subconscious decision it was made nonetheless.

AB11876This year came in with a different aura. The entity “Hope” was spreading her message all through the land from secular to sacred and both were speaking the same language. I was listening. I heard her cry in the streets and opened my window to let her voice ring in my house. I was happy, excited, and elated until I saw in the third quarter that those promises, dreams, and goals made to me were popping out of my journals, in dreams, and people’s voice to make way for them to manifest. I really believed I was ready! Even though I had been waiting for a very long time I just knew I was ready but my past was right there too. It brought along with it my disappointments, mistrust, deferred hope, rejected attempts, and used to “the way” I had been living which was barely enough to make it by the skin of my teeth. A few insecurities, bad judgements, and misperceptions were thrown in the mix too from having passed this way before in religious settings where I experienced “religious abuse.” To put it succinctly I was scared shitless. Fear ten Hope three but Hope had a plan in the hole.

heart broken womanHope and I have been riding together for a long time. We were down like ‘four flat tires and a spare,’ but I was scared and my heart remembered too much. But she was not giving up that easy. This Halloween was different for me. I don’t celebrate it but damn if the witches, ghouls, ghost, and nightmares didn’t join my past to scare me from making a choice. I woke up from a dream that was not pretty but I knew it was from God. I researched the places, colors, light, dark, objects, etc., and I kinda’ knew what it was speaking but I asked God to reveal what He was really saying to me. I sat my tablet down.

I am taking a webinar course on Influence Training and it is spiritual but not religious. It was a panel of people praying for men and women fifty and over to go the length and “do” their dreams. I was watching the chat bar line being filled with request for prayer for sicknesses, finances, etc. I added my request to the plethora of wants/needs to the chat line.

Transparency: I asked prayer for the entity of ‘Rejection’ and ‘Inferiority’ to be removed.

amazed womanThe chat bar was moving like lightning and even though it was at least four people on the panel watching it and praying for various people I ‘hoped’ someone would see my request. Certain words were being spoken to various people and I was sincerely happy for them to be receiving words of encouragement and kindness. And yes, some of those words rang for me as well and I received them, but it was not until one man who I thought left the webinar came back onto the panel. He said (not verbatim but close to it), “there are people on here who have lived a certain lifestyle for a very long time and are afraid that their promises won’t happen. You’ve been rejected by people and attempts to do better but you decided whether you knew it or not that life wasn’t going to get any better than this.” My mouth hit the floor. He also said, “In a way you’ve gotten use to lack and not having, thinking that well, it’s probably going to be this way, but God says emphatically, No! The promises I’ve made to you are coming to pass. Trust me. Believe one more time and watch me make them come to pass.” As I sat on my wooden bench in front of my laptop I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. God not only answered my request but the dream He gave me that early morning was explained in the word He gave the guy. In that instance I chose to believe Him one more time. It reminded me of a moment I had on New Year’s Eve back in nineteen ninety-four when I made a lifestyle change. The heaviness and dread lifted and I know this is my time. I made a conscious decision to leave my past, beliefs, and the feelings of that era behind. Now I’m not naïve to know that I will have to work my dreams out but I’m collaborating with some wonderful people who mean business. They desire to leave a legacy for our children and another kingdom built on and in Love.

Yeah, my Halloween was spooky but Hope, God, and my conscious decision scared the boogeymen away. And on top of that I had an extra hour to sleep and be restored down to the cellular level. November 1st came in with a refreshing.

If I’m speaking to anyone who has been abused religiously or even in relationships with people of authority and the entities ‘Fear, Rejection, Abandonment, and Verbal Abuse’ are trying to keep you in your past – RUN!  I know the emotions from yesteryear will try and convince you that it won’t be any better but it will be better this time. No, I didn’t say it will be rainbows and lollipops but trust the God of your creation to make it better. Yeah, I know, I trusted Him lotsa times too and nothing came of it but today you know what I discovered? I wasn’t ready for those dreams back then. He was just showing them to me because He wanted me to get my feet wet, reveal to me my pattern of leadership, and to know that my original desires to have a business He honored then and honors now. But we can’t do it alone. I know that’s scary, believe me, I know. But He will send people to assist you so trust and listen to your instincts, guts, and that nagging you feel…lol! Ask for Lady Wisdom and she will show up and give you the words to speak and ears to listen. These new people may have some traits of those that abused you before but take a breath, get still, and ask for your angels to surround you along with Peace. These are not those people. It will work out for you. I believe that for you and for me. I’m not suggesting anything to you that I’m not practicing myself. Like I’ve been saying to you in all my post, “You are not alone.” Let’s walk this place called Life together. Your past won’t let go so easy but you have the power of choice to let go of it.

woman with diary

Namaste’

Now listen to the lyrics of one of my favorite songs from the 80s by McFadden & Whitehead “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now.” That’s my theme song as I dance down the Soul Train of Life! Join me Phamily!

Until next time know that you are not alone, sweet sleep, angels keep!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

What Are You Accommodating?

familypixHi Phamily! I truly hope all is well in you and with you! Today I’m going to jump right in and ask you a question.

WHAT ARE YOU ACCOMMODATING?

You are probably asking, “What is she talking about? Accommodating what?”

Well, last week I was looking at one of the most inspiring Life Coaches on the planet Iyanla Vanzant’s, “Fix My Life,” television show. She told a client that she was accommodating her dis-ease in which the manifestation was “obesity.” To give you a brief synopsis of the situation the client’s mother died several years ago and as a result parts of her laid down in the coffin with her too. Before that traumatic moment she was the life of the party. Inviting people over for barbecues or celebrations of b’earthday’s was her way of participating with her friend’s in life. She and her mom were extremely close. They were like sisters and the best of friends. You didn’t see one without the other at any time according to friends and family. The absence of her mother created a void in her life that no one or anything could replace. Keep reading what that void created.

emotional eating

One, physically, the manifestation as I mentioned before was “obesity.” She gained a mass of weight [600 lbs.] (EMOTIONAL EATING). Two, she slipped and fell going to the bathroom in her home. The fire department had to come, lift her up, and put her back in the bed. She was so embarrassed that she consciously decided to not leave the house (SHAME, GUILT, HURT, PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, ANGER, RAGE, EMBARRASSMENT). This resulted in a breach of not only being with friends but “making” her teenage child become her caretaker. She washed her mom, cleaned her mother’s personal needs in the bed (she couldn’t get up anymore to go to the bathroom), and brought her foods that were not healthy. Watching her mother’s decline physically, mentally, and emotionally seized this young lady’s teenage years, reversed the view of the roles in their relationship,  and abandonment of a mother in her life (ABANDONMENT OF SELF CARE, CHILD, & SELFISH). To accommodate her lifestyle all of her medications, toiletries, sterilized bed pads were placed within arm’s reach. Basically anything that she needed to accommodate her conscious based lifestyle was placed in the boundary of her arm span.

The word “accommodate” reverbrated over and over inside my stomach. I felt the ping or the energy of that word move in me and didn’t stop until it reached cellular level. I asked myself several questions:

questionicon

  1. What familiar generational, cultural, or unserving religious belief system was I accommodating inside my temple, my soul, my mind?
  2. What emotional habit was I consciously or subconsciously making that was keeping me in an emotional, physical, mental, or economic rut?

Let’s go deeper shall we.

I even had to look at the time of the year I was making a major change in my life.

  1. Is it the same time of year every year and why the same time?
  2. What is significant about that time of the year?
  3. If I make this same goal at the same time of the year why am I sabotaging this goal?
  4. What am I afraid of? Why do I believe I’m not worthy of fulfilling my goal?
  5. What is on the other side of completing my goal that I think I can’t handle?

These are the questions that we all have to answer before we conquer our goals. This is a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” specifically Recognize and once truthfully answered Restore will greet you with the emotions, behaviors, ways, and means designed for you to utilize to complete your goals. Spiritually you will be given the innate strength, mental fortitude, and the entity Desire will fill your very soul (mind, emotions, body) to want to complete your goals.

angels

You are not alone family. You have a legion of angels surrounding you to enforce and reinforce your new beliefs. It takes repetition for a belief to become a system and these angels are here to assist you. These angels are visible and invisible. Surround yourself with people that only have your good in mind. They Desire with you to see your goals accomplished. These people will have a “NO” in their mouths when it is needed but it will always be accompanied in the heart of LOVE! You will hear instructions and encouragement spoken to you first by your Creator and then reaffirmed by your earthly angels. By this I mean when I hear through the means of what my soul gravitates to (a book, movie, marquee sign, etc.) a friend in casual conversation will say something to reinforce or offer more of an explanation of what I’ve heard. Your Creator wants you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He hears your concerns, you matter, and you are on the right track.

This is my belief and you don’t have to believe in what I’m about to say but I believe in the unseen help and we do entertain angels unaware. I’ve had people to help me and I’ve never seen again. I believe in a force that is unearthly strong and they are working on your behalf when your strength wanes. I believe that any horrendous situation you’ve encountered could have been worse than that just because those angels held back what really wanted to kill you emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically. If you believe this then you have to ask yourself, “Who am I really to the Creator and what am I to do in the Earth that Evil wants to take me out?”

This question as you progress on your journey will be answered along the way. You will see yourself differently as the twin entities Recognize and Restore usher you into your new creation of authenticity as the sleeping giant in you is awakened and revealed.

Keep seeking, believing, and taking the necessary risk to reveal more of your emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, and economical authentic self.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Namaste’,

Lana

I’ve posted the 2nd part of the “Remember My Story,” video! Hear how she accommodated the ‘Rejection,’ and ‘Abandonment,’ of her parental mother and little brother. And again, get out the tissue but really listen with the entity ‘Pay Attention’ to see the patterns of her emotions and behavior when trigger words or uncontrolled situations pushed her buttons. See if you can relate to her story. I know I did. 

Until next time know that you are not alone, sweet sleep, angels keep!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”lana_web_book_cover

 

Your Story – Stumbling Block to Building Block

heartyfruitHey Phamily! I truly hope all is well in your world and your journey has been productive. Since we’ve last talked I’ve been receiving some wonderful comments from people who have enjoyed reading my thoughts and journey and I just want to take the time to say THANK YOU!!! I really don’t take for granted when you leave a comment and say words of encouragement and kindness to let me know that my journey and what I’ve learned and still learning is helping you! That is a blessing to my soul. Again, THANK YOU!  Keep commenting and I’ll keep responding.

Well, these last couple of weeks so much has been happening in my world that I want to share just a bit with you. And by the way this is a part of RECOGNIZE AND REMOVE, the number’s two and three of The Four R’s on Your Journey. Yes, we are still here because these twins work together to align whatever part of your  life that is being recognized, removed and in the process of being healed to restore you authentically in those areas! I must admit I’ve been having a heaven/hell (just depends on what the issue is) of a time in revisiting areas of my life that I thought were complete, finished, dismissed, GONE! But…there is always a but. I found out that there is some residue that needed to be cauterized. YES, cauterized. Remember, I shared with you in my blog “Words Followed By Signs” that I didn’t like confrontation, and I had to confront the motherlode of all bully’s head on. Well, since then I’ve been confronting other people as well, not as intense as the first one, but nevertheless, it is becoming easier to do so. The fretful words are coming out of my mouth but with the motive and intent of my heart to heal both parties involved. A double edged sword (words) is used to cut both ways. One side is to destroy that which wants to kill you (not the person just their negative energy) and the other side is to heal that inside you that no longer serves you. In essence, I voice my concerns to the person and inwardly (in my soul) fear, rejection is being replaced with courage, power, love, and a sound mind. I no longer want a “soul” connection with the other person’s pain. I want my wound to be cauterized so their wound will no longer connect with what was once in me as well. Let your wounds be cauterized. It’s been amazing to see this process but I must admit it can be agonizing at times.

cauterize

meditatingWhat helps is prayer, meditation, and mantras. I speak in the affirmative. I say, “I choose not to catch anyone’s negative  energy this day,” or, “I am worthy!” To say these mantra’s and scriptures in the ‘Now’, tells your subconscious mind that what you are saying is active at that very moment. You are creating your experience in the present moment. Place your scriptures or mantras where you will see them daily. I see mine every morning  on my vision wall in front of my bed when I wake up. Your scriptures and mantras will build a fortress around your  mind, body, and emotions. The more you say them you are reinforcing them, empowering them, to protect you from other people who may not be aware they are carrying negative energy. But you are protecting yourself with an armor that helps you to stand against verbal blows and possibly removing you from physical harm. Words have energy by their definition and carry the intent or motive of the human thereby releasing them through their breath. Speak your positive words to keep you strengthened, your vibration high, and fortified in your soul. Self-love is priceless phamily.

prayer

My prayers are sometimes two words. THANK YOU! Prayer is a conversation with your Divine and Infinite Intelligence. Actually I find myself praying arbitrarily throughout my day. It’s just a conversation in either me expressing gratitude, worship, asking for protection, or help with something that concerns me or someone else. Some people do have set times and that is fine, others do it throughout their day, or, a mixture of both. It’s whatever you gravitate to. Don’t make it rigid. Be flexible and loving in prayer with your Divine.

buildingblocksI say all of this to really make one point. Your story can either be your stumbling block or building block. When a child plays with blocks they either stack them up or beside each other. They will fall and the child may cry but will eventually pick them back up to start building again. Our stories are similar to those blocks. Think about how your life has gone from one block to the next and just when you think you’ve completed an area in your life and it’s dealt with, the blocks fall. At that moment you want to chuck it and just give up but something, and I like to think, the entity Hope comes in and gently nudges you and says, “No, build again but do it differently this time.” You see some blocks you may not need anymore to complete an area of your life. You had to many blocks the first time but this time you may only need just a few. Don’t allow a few times in an area of your life that the blocks have fallen stop you from trying again. You really are so close to a wound being healed fully, yes, cauterized and your authenticity restored.  Seriously, you are very close…I believe with you!

blocksfalling

And now I invite you to watch a story titled, ReMoved! Get the tissue out but please sit with the entity Pay Attention to her story. Look and listen to the building blocks of her life. Until next time you’re in my thoughts and prayers!

ASSIGNMENT: Fortify your soul with positive scriptures, mantras, and prayers. The more you say them watch when someone says something negative how it bounces off of you. The entity PAY ATTENTION will alert you to how you don’t feel as if someone has kicked you in the stomach. Let me know if this helps you!

Travel safely, sweet sleep, angels keep, and know that you are not alone!

NAMASTE

NEXT TIME: ANGELS

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”

 

Your Story – Stumbling Block to Building Block

heartyfruitHey Phamily! I truly hope all is well in your world and your journey has been productive. Since we’ve last talked I’ve been receiving some wonderful comments from people who have enjoyed reading my thoughts and journey and I just want to take the time to say THANK YOU!!! I really don’t take for granted when you leave a comment and say words of encouragement and kindness to let me know that my journey and what I’ve learned and still learning is helping you! That is a blessing to my soul. Again, THANK YOU!  Keep commenting and I’ll keep responding.

Well, these last couple of weeks so much has been happening in my world that I want to share just a bit with you. And by the way this is a part of RECOGNIZE AND REMOVE, the number’s two and three of The Four R’s on Your Journey. Yes, we are still here because these twins work together to align whatever part of your  life that is being recognized, removed and in the process of being healed to restore you authentically in those areas! I must admit I’ve been having a heaven/hell (just depends on what the issue is) of a time in revisiting areas of my life that I thought were complete, finished, dismissed, GONE! But…there is always a but. I found out that there is some residue that needed to be cauterized. YES, cauterized. Remember, I shared with you in my blog “Words Followed By Signs” that I didn’t like confrontation, and I had to confront the motherlode of all bully’s head on. Well, since then I’ve been confronting other people as well, not as intense as the first one, but nevertheless, it is becoming easier to do so. The fretful words are coming out of my mouth but with the motive and intent of my heart to heal both parties involved. A double edged sword (words) is used to cut both ways. One side is to destroy that which wants to kill you (not the person just their negative energy) and the other side is to heal that inside you that no longer serves you. In essence, I voice my concerns to the person and inwardly (in my soul) fear, rejection is being replaced with courage, power, love, and a sound mind. I no longer want a “soul” connection with the other person’s pain. I want my wound to be cauterized so their wound will no longer connect with what was once in me as well. Let your wounds be cauterized. It’s been amazing to see this process but I must admit it can be agonizing at times.

cauterize

meditatingWhat helps is prayer, meditation, and mantras. I speak in the affirmative. I say, “I choose not to catch anyone’s negative  energy this day,” or, “I am worthy!” To say these mantra’s and scriptures in the ‘Now’, tells your subconscious mind that what you are saying is active at that very moment. You are creating your experience in the present moment. Place your scriptures or mantras where you will see them daily. I see mine every morning  on my vision wall in front of my bed when I wake up. Your scriptures and mantras will build a fortress around your  mind, body, and emotions. The more you say them you are reinforcing them, empowering them, to protect you from other people who may not be aware they are carrying negative energy. But you are protecting yourself with an armor that helps you to stand against verbal blows and possibly removing you from physical harm. Words have energy by their definition and carry the intent or motive of the human thereby releasing them through their breath. Speak your positive words to keep you strengthened, your vibration high, and fortified in your soul. Self-love is priceless phamily.

prayer

My prayers are sometimes two words. THANK YOU! Prayer is a conversation with your Divine and Infinite Intelligence. Actually I find myself praying arbitrarily throughout my day. It’s just a conversation in either me expressing gratitude, worship, asking for protection, or help with something that concerns me or someone else. Some people do have set times and that is fine, others do it throughout their day, or, a mixture of both. It’s whatever you gravitate to. Don’t make it rigid. Be flexible and loving in prayer with your Divine.

buildingblocksI say all of this to really make one point. Your story can either be your stumbling block or building block. When a child plays with blocks they either stack them up or beside each other. They will fall and the child may cry but will eventually pick them back up to start building again. Our stories are similar to those blocks. Think about how your life has gone from one block to the next and just when you think you’ve completed an area in your life and it’s dealt with, the blocks fall. At that moment you want to chuck it and just give up but something, and I like to think, the entity Hope comes in and gently nudges you and says, “No, build again but do it differently this time.” You see some blocks you may not need anymore to complete an area of your life. You had to many blocks the first time but this time you may only need just a few. Don’t allow a few times in an area of your life that the blocks have fallen stop you from trying again. You really are so close to a wound being healed fully, yes, cauterized and your authenticity restored.  Seriously, you are very close…I believe with you!

blocksfalling

And now I invite you to watch a story titled, ReMoved! Get the tissue out but please sit with the entity Pay Attention to her story. Look and listen to the building blocks of her life. Until next time you’re in my thoughts and prayers!

ASSIGNMENT: Fortify your soul with positive scriptures, mantras, and prayers. The more you say them watch when someone says something negative how it bounces off of you. The entity PAY ATTENTION will alert you to how you don’t feel as if someone has kicked you in the stomach. Let me know if this helps you!

Travel safely, sweet sleep, angels keep, and know that you are not alone!

NAMASTE

NEXT TIME: ANGELS

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?”

 

How Do We Stop…

familylineage2Hey Phamily! I truly hope all is well with you and your journey in restoring your authentic self. It’s not just a destination but it’s the journey that reveals those parts of your emotional, mental, social, vocal, physical, and spiritual self that have been scattered to the nether parts of your soul. And believe me it is possible to be restored your authenticity in the aforementioned areas. Don’t worry about the time or the how because if you passionately, strongly and any other adjective that you use Desire to be Restored it will happen. I didn’t think it was possible because of my age but that excuse had to be thrown out asap. Why? Because your Desire, magnified to the nth degree, will far outweigh the number of your years on earth and the Divine will restore those lost years with what you missed plus more as a gift to you.

I see you giving me the side-eye…lol!  side eye

That’s okay. I gave the side-eye to the person that told me this too, especially when they were younger than me. But it’s true, I promise you it is. Your childhood adversity can be laid to rest. You just have to Desire it strongly enough and Believe that the Divine can do it. What helps is that you change your Perception of your life’s course. This will in turn change your Trajectory of your path to Restoration. And by the way this is still a part of “The Four R’s on Your Journey,” Recognize. How have you viewed your life’s course up until this point? I know I viewed mine from the entity of Rejection’s perception. From my career choices, to friendships, to financial decisions, and social gatherings, I walked in knowing that I wouldn’t qualify for the higher paying positions, or, I feared in managing my monies. In friendships I knew they would eventually go sour and I would be the dysfunctional cause, and no man that I really liked would like me back. I think you get the picture. Rejection was my perception and my trajectory lined up with what I believed due to how it had been from a little girl. The pattern, I thought, was set and my life spelled out but something happened.

I began to meet people, read books, listen to songs, hear life coaches (remember these are the ways in which my soul authentically gravitates toward) speak another language on positive self-esteem, critical self-talk, anger, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, etc., and you know what I listened. The more they talked the more I listened and desired to be restored. Being healed far outweighed my pain and I wanted to do whatever it took to think with my thoughts, feel with my feelings, and speak unashamedly without seeing a hand hit me in my mouth in my mind’s eye.

prayingwoman1I prayed to God everyday and moment to help me be healed and more importantly open my eyes to see how He wanted me to assist. You know what I kept hearing? Believe. At first it pissed me off because I was like, is that all? It’s got to be more than that. But each time I asked the question my answer was the same. So, I asked Him to help me. I asked Him to open my eyes to see what He saw in me when He created me. I asked Him to make me Aware of my feelings, voice, and thoughts. I wanted to know me inside out. I asked for the entity of Paying Attention so I would know and could write down my thoughts, and know what my feelings felt like and I could hear how my voice really sounded in my ears. I was subconsciously waking up daily and quickly I might add to see this person that I thought I lost at the age of ten. And quite frankly I’m still getting to know me. It comes in stages. There were parts of me that were deeply imbedded in my soul that I didn’t want God to touch. The pain was to great and I wanted to hang on to my anger. I felt that I was justified in my anger and why not? They did it to me. You know who your they are. But it got to a point where I Recognized and was Aware that carrying those they’s were emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically weighing me down and affecting my health. My back hurt more than ever and I was being Tormented by past scenes, situations, and words almost minutely. I cried out to God to remove them from me. I believed He could remove them but I did have a part to play, and phamily, this is not easy but it is necessary. forgive3

Forgiveness as I’d learned was not the definition I grew into. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened to you but it does mean that the anger, rage, murder, blame, hurt, pain, unforgiveness, hate, of your abusers is seen from only, and I do mean only a Divine’s perspective and the intensity of your emotions in that traumatic moment is gone. Now, if there is another way then by all means let me know, but this the way I learned to forgive. The Divine, utilizing what I normally gravitated to books (fiction and non-fiction), positive speakers, dreams, visions, the supernatural if you will, showed me why my abusers behaved the way they did. He did not justify their actions toward me but He explained their behavior to me.

He explained it to me in several ways. The first way was He showed me in conversations I had with someone close to them who knew them as a child. They were eye witnesses to the ill actions that were heaped upon them by a parent or someone they knew in authority. Ten times out of ten your abuser was abused. But I must admit I asked the Divine, “If they were treated the same way then why treat me the exact same way?” The next way was the clincher. I was shown how I exhibited the same behavior only in a different mode. Let me explain. Pride. Yeah, let me talk about the big dogg I’ve had to wrestle with. You would think after all I’d been through that the entity Pride would be the last challenge I’d have but it was the first one and a big one. I was prideful in sneaky ways like if someone didn’t know something and I did I inwardly viewed them as dumb, or I know more than them. I’m going to shame the devil today by being transparent. My God knows all about it because I stand before Him naked and unashamed so…I will leave that there…lol!  Also, I thought that I knew the best way to manage your life when my life was in shambles…but I could tell you what YOU needed to do. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is…LOL! Yes, phamily the entity Pride is a monster and I rush to my God telling Him when it rears its head. So when I saw me as my abuser’s it was an humbling experience and forgiveness was my key to exit and leave that place of Righteous Anger of what they did to me. I too was an abuser and a Religious Bully at that. My memoir explains more about my religious upbringing. Now I don’t know if my abuser’s wanted to know why they behaved in such a manner or even realized that their behavior was abusive but I do know that God is an equal opportunity employer. I can’t answer for them but…

I forgave. Soul freed. Intense emotions from that abusive moment are gone. Forgiveness attained. Done. forgive4

When you see yourself as the abuser it puts a different spin on Forgiveness. Now I can talk about horrid past scenes without my emotions being involved. Or, as the young adults say, “I’m not caught up in my feelings.” I can see the situation from a Perception that is whole and healed and my Trajectory is changed because I’m Aware of my words, thoughts, and feelings and also how Pride can enter. Also, I do pray as led for those who abused me. Knowing what I know about them it is easier for me to assess their emotional terrain when a certain behavior comes on the scene. I do know how to protect myself as well. Just because I forgave them doesn’t mean I put myself in harm’s way. Wisdom phamily, Wisdom. 😉 And you do know that what you wrestle with will come back and try you again. It wants to see if the door is really closed and Forgivess is on guard.

Well, I have a TedTalks I want you to listen to. It’s located on the right side of your screen where normally I’d put a music video. But today I invite you to listen to Benjamin Perks and his talk on “How Do We Stop Childhood Adversity from Becoming a Life Sentence,” TEDxPodgorica. It is worth fifteen minutes to really listen to and view his film.

I promise you Forgiveness is just waiting on you to acknowledge how heavy your soul is carrying all those people, their words, behaviors, and abusive acts toward you around. Your mind, body, and emotions will thank you. Oh, one last thing. Co-workers, peers, and family are noticing how much weight I’ve lost. And I tell them, “Thank you. I’m getting those other people off and outta me.”

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” athttps://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

“What emotional legacy do you want to leave your child? Mine was Rejection. What’s yours?” 

familylineage1familylineage

THANK YOU

Words Followed By Signs

kidfunbeachLast time phamily we identified our Playground, our safe place, and played a game of ‘Tag’. We talked about ‘The Four R’s on Your Journey.’

  • First you had to ‘Remember’ your playground, your safe place. Whether the equipment on your playground was the swings, slide, jungle gym, or a place in your present, what’s important is you established your safe ground. Then you were also asked to remember the traumatic situation(s) that has followed you from your childhood into adulthood. I’m sure those were tough memories to remember and write down. But it’s something about writing down horrid experiences. You tend to remember more than what you thought you did and that’s a good thing.
  • Did you remember the small details?  Did you have dreams or visions that possibly filled in the gaps of those traumatic moments? I hope you wrote them down. They bring gifts of healing, forgiveness, and letting go of entities that have harassed you long enough.

Fear

CASE IN POINT: In my memoir I went to our church camp with a group of peers that I didn’t necessarily want to be around, especially one. I called her ‘Birdfinger’ (explanation in the memoir). To make a long story short, it was a rule at the camp that you had to sweep around your bed and make it up before you left the dormitory. I did. I went downstairs to wait on some young girls I met weeks before at camp. Birdfinger was told by my relative, our supervisor, to come back upstairs. My neat bedclothes were now thrown aside and debris was under my bed. In a two story dormitory military lined with two hundred beds my relative screamed at me like I was the trash underneath my bed. Trying to defend myself was nil because she never believed me anyway. I just redid my bed and swept once again.  All I remembered before I started writing my memoir was how no one took up for me or protected me. When I started this chapter I sat back and through raging emotions and tears I yelled at God and asked why didn’t He send someone to protect me? That’s when He gave me a vision of a lady with an afro sitting by a window watching the entire scene. She had tears in her eyes. I cried the more I saw her looking at me with eyes of compassion and love. I realized that the lady was God. The hurt, pain, rage, anger, and blame left my body. I felt those entities lift right up off me. Now grant it I did ask why didn’t He intervene and He told me He couldn’t because it was a part of the plan for my life. And no, I didn’t like His answer but to have those entities off of me was pure heaven. This is what I mean by small details you can miss when you’re being traumatized at any age. God reveals them to heal you at the appropriate time.

summerfun

LET’S TAKE A BREAK AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING FUN:

YOUR DISCOVERY ADVENTURE

Familiar & Practical

  • Did you find out what your soul normally gravitates to? Remember mine is the written or spoken word. I love YA, like author Jaime Reed’s “Living Violet,” or the Paranormal genre, the late great author L.A. Banks The Vampire Huntress Legend Series. As of late I’ve come to know personally and love author, Alicia McCalla. Her Dystopian/YA novel, “Breaking Free,” is a fav read due to her covert inclusion of historical events in this genetic revolution. Check her out at her site and SUBSCRIBE!  You won’t be disappointed.

The other half of your assignment was what abilities have you discovered that you like? It can also be a trait. Are you adventurous? Do you want to travel and see the world? Are you a gardener? COMMENT BELOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!

In what creative ways did you found out what your soul naturally gravitates too? Were you reading a book? On the train, in your car, walking? Listening to a conversation, watching television, or maybe dreaming? I really like would like to know because that’s the FUN of this adventure! Finding hidden parts of your self is a beacon of hope!

Okay, let’s get back to the second ‘R’ on your journey:

RECOGNIZE

  • From those traumatic events did you recognize patterns of behaviors from your childhood that you’ve used to survive in your adulthood? Some may be excellent survival strategies but others need to be either modified or deleted.
  •  Can you identify how trauma has affected your choices in several areas of your life? The emotional abuse that you endured has kept you in a holding pattern, shock if you will, in not understanding what your normal is when u comes to making decisions. It’s not in all situations in your life but in some cases you make decisions based on survival instincts of your childhood instead of analyzation and reason in the present. You may be afraid to make a decision based on a past traumatic act that possibly insulted your abilities, demeaned your character, or slaughtered your self-worth.

I know you’ve covered a lot of traumatic emotional territory of your past and I’m sure some of it was not easy to view but it was necessary. I truly commend you for your courage my phriend. It’s not easy to revisit unpleasant places but you are and that is a heart of resiliency and courage. You are feeling the fear and doing it anyway. But let’s take a moment and sit down here and discuss the tag team of ‘Recognize’ while I introduce its twin, the third stage ‘Remove.’

REMOVE

The third stage ‘Remove’ is when you “Discover how to remove certain behaviors and words that no longer serve you in the present moment.”  These two can work together and are interchangeable depending on what traumatic memory is prevalent at the time. Some behaviors and words are easier to remove than others. And those behaviors and words are deeply imbedded in your soul, your psyche, still protecting the little girl that was emotionally damaged. They are the chasm that separates the little girl and the adult. But as an adult you are discovering that a certain behavior and/or word due to possibly fear, rejection, or rebellion has outlived its usefulness. Now it’s time to face the fear and learn a new behavior even when you may not know what to do but do it anyway.

CASE IN POINT: I’ve mentioned before I’ve never liked confrontation. It’s a bitter pill for me to swallow due to being either vehemently screamed at or smacked in the mouth. I learned to fear opening my mouth and speaking my authentic thoughts because of these repercussions. So I held everything in and only spoke what I really wanted to say in my mind. I cursed and killed my abuser a thousand times over and meant every. last. word. Yes, I did repent and eventually forgive my abusers. Lol!

Long story short in the past two weeks I’ve had to confront the two types of people I feared the most, an aggressive female bully and an alpha male. I’ve longed to overcome these fears that began in childhood and continued into my adult years. Well, it happened, and yes, I was scared but I held my ground and opened my mouth and said what I had to say without backing down. And you know what I didn’t get smacked in the mouth or verbally abused. Yes, they spoke their mind as well but we did it in an adult manner and afterwards we had a better understanding of each other. It doesn’t mean we’re bosom buddies but that’s not the point. When I say I felt lighter, happier, and the entity Torment did not have any foothold in my soul to hang on to. Wow!

I had already ‘Recognized’ that it was high time to overcome this childhood fear but each time I was given a chance to I shirked and failed the test. But this time ‘Removal’ wouldn’t allow me to back down and I didn’t want to either. There will come a time that you can’t back down. You will, and must confront whatever has held you in static shock. As a result of these moments physically my body has rested the entire night and my outlook on people has changed. I have returned to the stronghold of hope and my relationship with my Creator and self is more intimate than ever.

lanasmiling

WORDS FOLLOWED BY SIGNS:

                       PEACEFUL

                       HOPEFUL

                       INTIMACY

                       DETERMINED

                       FEARLESS

                       CONTENT

                       TRUSTING

                       ASSURED

DISCOVERY: TELL ME YOUR SIGNS!  I REALLY WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. COMMENT IN THE SECTION BELOW.

Until next time keep allowing the stages of ‘Recognize’ and ‘Remove’ do their jobs. It will be a ‘Tag’ team process and even if you don’t respond by facing your childhood fear don’t worry it will come back at a different time, same type of personality, just a different person. The quicker you face it the quicker you will find your adult truth in the situation followed by signs in your body as it is being healed.

ENJOY FREEBIES!

    To your right SIGN-UP as a SUBSCRIBER! I have a FREE GIFT awaiting you below!!! Also there will be other FREEBIES coming REAL SOON as well!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

namefaces

WE ARE PHAMILY

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

THANK YOU

Till we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

Lana M Hooks

FREEBIE DOWNLOAD!anotherarrow

-You are worthy to be loved!-

 

LAST THING PHAMILY ENJOY MS. JILL SCOTT! HER SONGS SPEAK TO ME IN WAYS THAT ARE NOT JUST EARTHLY BUT SPIRITUAL! I HOPE YOU “FEEL” WHAT I’M SAYING. SIT BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE BEVERAGE AND JUST LISTEN TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG AND KNOW THAT ‘HE’ LOVES YOU, YOU’RE SPECIAL…

It’s The Simple Things!

Remember the game Tag? I know it’s a child’s game but sometimes it’s the simple things that bring the most clarity to an adult child situation, yeah, an adult child. When you’ve been emotionally traumatized as a child that moment in time is frozen in your mind, cells, and behavior. You learned how to behave in that abusive environment to survive, but unfortunately those techniques followed you into adulthood. Also, that emotionally charged situation left a wound in your soul that you exist from on a daily basis. Dr. Janet Woititz, psychologist, that worked with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) stated, “…most adult children have in common a set of dysfunctional ways of behaving which interfere with (or simply take the joy out of), daily living…leftovers from something missed along the way in growing up- and to develop more effective ways of living.”[i]  She adds it doesn’t matter how you got there, meaning, rejection, abandonment, molestation or any other emotionally abusive manner. What matters is you are here at this point and age and not living your life.

So today we are going back to our ‘Playground’ and play Tag. The Four R’s On Your Journey are Remember, Recognize, Remove, and Restore. Today we will discuss the first two, Remember and Recognize. In my memoir, “Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection,” I talk about places where I felt safe, free, and my weight didn’t matter. The playground was that place for me at school. It’s important you are safe as we journey back to some places that will ignite emotions that have either been deeply buried in your soul or you feel them on a daily basis. If you don’t remember a safe place you have the awesome task of choosing your present day safe place – your playground.

  1. Remember.  Return to your ‘Playground’, your safe place.

Your playground is a time and a place of your choosing that you will be protected and not disturbed. You can sit with a glass of your favorite beverage with pen, pencil, paper, IPad, Kindle, laptop, etc., to write down your intimate thoughts. No one will be there except your Creator, and personal angels to ensure your privacy and safety from things seen and unseen.

 

AA032894

TAG

I’M IT: For the last couple of weeks I’ve been talking about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Basically, in relation to how a traumatic past or past-present event, either from your childhood or later has the power to guide and effect your current emotions and behavior. It is possible to believe a demeaning statement that was never your reality but your abusers wounded world. For example…

I’m restructuring my nutritional intake, exercising, and on the grind rebuilding and discovering streams of income. It’s a lot, but more importantly, it is pulling up past abusive scenes, faces, and words of moments regarding relationships (family, peers, religious), weight, abilities to learn, and money (poverty beliefs).

At the end of June I had an emotional breakup. Yes, an emotional breakup with what “they” said. I’ve said probably a million times before that I wasn’t what “they” said about me but I didn’t believe a word of what came out of my mouth.  I couldn’t see the other side of ‘their’ hurtful words. I lived in my mind where the entity Torment daily did its job. Those dysfunctional childhood situations, people, and words played over and over in my mind as if they were literally here, with me, in present mode. I lived each and every day with a stress level that was slowly killing me. I walked, talked, and thought in Torment’s world of bondage and fear.

*As a side note you will see me refer to emotions whether negative or positive as entities. Words have power and yes, I do believe that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Try this test. Say aloud the word ‘beautiful.’ How does it make you feel? What part of the body do you feel the energy of that word? Now say aloud the word ‘ugly.’ How does it make you feel and what part of the body is the energy flowing from? I believe words carry the energy of their definition. Depending on the word and the intent of the person it searches for a wounded soul or a welcomed soul to inhabit. They enter in one’s body by another body saying words that are carried by their breath. *

Belief in a word, a statement, a person in anything can either bring life or death. I treaded in death’s hallway even though I spoke life giving words. I even strongly encouraged others with those same words. But to me, they were just words. My beliefs in the esteem damaging words were stronger than my belief in life-giving words.

I wanted Torment to stop. Even though heart issues, like weight loss, from childhood were being answered by the Divine the critical self-talk and scenes from yesteryear were killing me. In my memoir I tell the story of why it means so much to me that my Creator would answer an eight year old little girl’s prayer forty-five years later. But I knew this madness had to stop. I had to make it stop. So I made up in my mind that day, screaming at the top of my lungs, crying and looking like a raccoon, to the Divine and the Council of Heaven that I was not going to accept my abusers talk anymore and I needed their help! With snot running out of my nose and down my lips I declared to heaven, earth, and all the negative entities that I wasn’t going to talk to “me” that wounded way anymore. I was double dogg damned tired. My Creator knew this time I meant every word and He heard me, as I’m sure the negative entities did too, but I didn’t care. My answers and help were waiting on me to just get tired as yours are waiting on you, I’m sure.

I’ve been talking about weight loss but rest assured you can apply this practice to whatever was used to traumatize you. The entity used to traumatize me was Rejection. If you are diligently losing weight and your self-talk is still the same, you will gain the weight back. I promise you will. But first, let’s identify the unlimited various ways in which the Universe can assist you in answering your questions.  I will share with you mine as an example.

1. FAMILIAR & PRACTICAL: I’m a reader. My soul gravitates to books on psychology, spirituality, soul, and consciousness. I think you get the picture. So when I’m seeking to be healed in my emotions or questions answered the Master of all scribes sends me the answer to what He knows that will peak my interest. Thus, the above stated avenues. The written word is not my only link, just like you, we all have hobbies or interest like movies, etc., and that we just love to do or view. There is no explanation why other than it brings us a peace in our soul (mind, body, emotions).  In other words it’s fulfilling and that’s why the Creator uses what you naturally acclimate to.

 

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YOU’RE IT: Take a minute phamily and think about your hobbies or interests. What do you like to do without thinking about it? Are you a reader of romance, paranormal, or biographies? Do you play sports, jog, walk, paint, knit, writer, or a diy’er? When your body and mind is in fun motion do ideas come to you quicker than you are moving? How does doing the things you like make your body feel? Even if you don’t know what you like, what would you like to venture out and do? Whatever is the first thing that comes to mind just…

WRITE THOSE DOWN!    laptopdrink

 

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I’M IT: RECOGNIZE: This is the second of ‘The Four R’s on Your Journey. Explore the various ways you’ve operated to survive. ‘Pay Attention’ and be ‘Aware’ of your thoughts, words, and behaviors. Learn the frequency by which your soul speaks.

Now that you’ve written down your familiar and practical avenues let’s continue. What is the traumatic event, like a New York turnstile, continuously playing over and over in your head? No matter where you are at, with people, or by yourself, the scenes from that moment reverberate in your soul. For me it was the scene of learning how to ride a bike and I was told because I was fat I couldn’t learn. I know it sounds crazy but that scene coupled with the words, looks, and behaviors of key players set the stage for all my male/female/authoritative relationships, job choices, and trying new things, and it greatly affected how I felt about my weight going forward. The belief system I learned from my abuser’s was birthed from not learning how to ride a bike.

1. I believed I couldn’t learn anything without someone being there to hold onto for security.

2. I believed that close family members would not protect me. In fact they verbally and sometimes physically abused me in front of my peers and other authority figures or remained silent and did nothing. I knew by the age of ten adult figures in my family would not protect me. I tell stories in my book of how the more I was rejected by those who supposedly loved me I became invisible and buried my voice.

3. I believed that other female peers would either not look at me due to the entity Shame or Pity and would join in with the adult figures of my family and verbally abuse me. Guys that I liked would look away from me due to the entity Embarrassment or Pity. They bowed to peer pressure for fear of being ridiculed of liking a fat girl. I knew by the age of eight nice looking guys would not want to be with me unless under the guise of darkness because I was fat.

4. I believed that I couldn’t verbally hurt people back because I didn’t want them to feel that kind of hurt and more so I was afraid of being physically hit. Before I decided to not fight back I tried to verbally defend myself. I was met with a hit to my mouth by the adult or, in their rage, would scream and verbally berate me in front of my peers and other adults. The cost of the entities Embarrassment, Shame, and Pain was too high to pay. So I remained quiet.

5. I believed that the only place I could live freely was in my imagination, sexual fantasies and thoughts, in essence, in my head. My thoughts and words were not good enough to express openly. Since I was physically compared to my peers I imitated their personality, physical expressions, even how they spoke. I committed “identity theft” which done excessively becomes ‘multiple personality disorder.’ My thoughts, voice, and personality went to sleep deep inside my soul.

In a more simplified form this was my belief system.

  1. Afraid to learn new things because I thought I was the entity Dumb.
  2. Not good enough to be a friend with females, or be with a nice looking guy because I was fat, or voice my thoughts.
  3. No one will protect me especially family.
  4. Fear of authority figures (God & man). Those that claimed they were His children became bullies and physically abusive when you challenged them. So I thought since they were His children He sanctioned their behavior towards me which, in my mind, made Him a bully too.
  5. Afraid of being hit or verbally abused by females and males (adults and peers) if I disagreed with what they said or told me what to do.

I believed that I was a bad seed and unworthy to be loved by God or man. This belief system followed me well into my adult years all because I didn’t learn how to ride a bike. Wow! Like I said I know this sounds, well, crazy, but it’s true. It wasn’t just this one time but it was the initial seed planted in me. The scenes and people changed but the pattern of how I was treated by family and peers consistently was based on the initial seed until the age of ten. At that age and a kick to my leg the belief systems were solidified in my soul. Emotional Abuse is as real as Physical Abuse. In fact, both are equally as harmful. It just depends on which one will be predominantly used against you. But both will be present no matter which one is used more than the other. If this sounds like you…

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YOU’RE IT: Write down your memory or memories and see what belief system you’ve accepted as yours to survive. This may take some time so we will resume week after next, August 15th, with another blog post. But feel free to view past blog post at lanamhooks.com and read other articles on why I began to discuss PTSD.

I’m celebrating three wonderful birthday’s coming up in a matter of days. And I want to be fully present with them as they celebrate another glorious year of their marvelous lives!

Until we meet again the entity Pay Attention and Aware wants to show you other avenues or ways that you naturally gravitate to without thought that give you messages or answers to your questions. This is fun because you may not have been aware of these at all. Just be open with the entity Pay Attention and Aware and allow energy of the definition to do its work and watch what happens. And don’t forget to

WRITE THEM DOWN!

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That will be a part of your quest for next time as well!

 

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I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU

Leave a comment and let me know if what I’m writing is helping you face some traumatic memories and to finally leave that place to feel, think, speak, and live your authentic life. Also let me know your thoughts about having HANGOUTS in the near future with guest who will not only share their journeys as well but give words of wisdom to conquer the trauma!

ENJOY FREEBIES!

    To your right SIGN-UP as a SUBSCRIBER! I have a FREE GIFT awaiting you below!!! Also there will be other FREEBIES coming REAL SOON as well!

NEED A BOOK CLUB SPEAKER, KEYNOTE SPEAKER, OR WORKSHOP LEADER

 I’M AVAILABLE!

You can purchase my memoir, “DIRTY BREATH: TRAPPED BY REJECTION,” at https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and at Amazon under the title. I would love to speak at your next book club meeting (Atlanta metropolitan area), or have a virtual book club meeting through social media. I am also available to speak at your church, organization, or conference.

Contact me at: authorlmhooks@gmail.com Yay!

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WE ARE PHAMILY

Lastly, please share this blog with other people you know that can benefit from it. I want our community of people to know we were/are not alone and there is help for the adult child to be emotionally healed. You just have to want to do what it takes and that my friend is a road uniquely designed for your transformation!

 

THANK YOU

Until we meet again travel safely, have a sweet sleep and angels keep, and know that you are not alone.

Namaste’

Lana M Hooks

FREEBIE DOWNLOAD!

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Authenticity Rocks Reader Magnet for Dirty Breath1

 *****THE SONG FOR THIS BLOG WAS MY FAVORITE BACK IN THE DAY! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TAG BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT THE PLAYGROUND. I ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IT WAS A FUN SONG THAT EVEN CHILDREN AND ADULTS DANCED TO! ****  ENJOY!!!


[i] Dr. Janet Woititz, Adult Child Characteristics: Alcoholic & Dysfunctional Families, http://www.cyberus.ca/~rocksoft/teddysrule/chars/charactr.html